


The Zerodin Nothing-To-Do-With-Christmas Special

by dorkpatroller



Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Canon Universe, Gift Fic, M/M, Reincarnation AU, Songfic, Soulmates, Trans Male Character, Trans Pregnancy, background ships, because they have future lives, every chapter is literally a different au, except for one chapter but it'll have a warning, i'll try to put specific warning at the beginning of each chapter, in one chapter anyway all the others are different aus, its a reincarnation au so obviously they die, please don't worry it's not angsty, rated for later porn in one chapter, their kids are in almost every chapter, they obtained them ambiguously, whatever you prefer for your method of child-obtaining works
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-12
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:41:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 26,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22232725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dorkpatroller/pseuds/dorkpatroller
Summary: A reincarnation au I put together as a gift for my best friend. Niles finds himself living many different lives, but there are a few constants among the changes. He doesn't know why this keeps happening or what he's supposed to figure out, but he'll love Odin as many chances as he gets.
Relationships: Odin/Zero | Niles, See Chapter Notes
Comments: 28
Kudos: 37





	1. Prologue - Forever and Always

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lieano](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lieano/gifts).



> check the beginning of each chapter for any chapter-specific tags/warnings. 
> 
> Also in the true spirit of christmas gift fics, this is barely edited.

**Prologue: Forever and Always**

_ His voice is almost too low _

_ As he says, I love you forever, forever and always _

_ Please just remember, even if I’m not there _

_ I’ll always love you _

_ Forever and Always. _

They’ve been playing each other for fools. It’s a game where Niles finds himself letting Odin into his room at night and they pretend like they’re just mutually benefitting from blowing off steam. They’ve been acting like it’s not a big deal, that neither of them is developing feelings. But they are. 

Lately, Odin doesn’t leave to go to his room when they’re through. He stays there, sometimes pulls Niles closer to his heart, and they’re laying together just like that when Niles realizes he’s in love. Horrible, scary, terrible love. The revelation has him shaken up. What is he supposed to do with that knowledge? Does it mean something? Does it change something?

Five seconds prior to that revelation he was fine. He was comfortable here, with his ear laid against Odin’s heartbeat and his own heart still evening out. Maybe that’s what made his brain connect the dots. Odin is comfortable. He’s safe and warm and his breath in Niles’s hair is soothing. But if Odin is safe why does the idea of being in love with him scare Niles half to death? He feels like he needs to hide.

The following day Odin is all smiles. It’s as if he hasn’t just caused Niles to have an out of body crisis. He’s got that happy glow about him like the sun rose just for him. Maybe it did. There aren’t that many people in Nohr who deserve it, but he does. 

Eugh. It makes Niles sick to his stomach to think like that. Or maybe it makes him sick knowing that he’s weak enough  _ to _ think like that. But he tries to act the same as always when Odin comes closer. It must not work, because Odin dips his head to the side like a concerned dog. “Niles?” He asks in a softer voice, not boisterous as usual. “You’re tense. Are you alright?”

“Peachy,” Niles answers with a hum. That, at least, makes Odin’s smile flicker back into place. 

“Wondrous news! I worried. That being the case, would you be opposed if I were to visit you again tonight?” 

Niles bites his tongue. “Actually, I’ve got a bit of a headache. Not tonight.” The way Odin’s smile goes away makes his chest hurt, but Niles isn’t ready to be in love. He just needs to back off. He’s more comfortable with his walls up. 

Odin doesn’t take it well that day, or the next, or the next, but Niles needs his space. He goes about his business for Leo, he works with Odin during the day. He’s not avoiding him, he’s just not inviting him to share his bed. That’s fine. Odin is clearly feeling rejected, but Niles can live with that. 

Probably. It’s only been a handful of days but Niles is distracted, he must admit. He hasn’t had Odin to kiss him in the mornings or hold him at night. He didn’t think he needed those things--he doesn’t need those things. He doesn’t need to be in love. He can still get out of it. 

“Niles.”

Niles’s heart leaps into his throat but he manages to look somewhat composed when he turns to look over at his liege. Leo was reading before. He’s staring Niles down now. “Yes, milord?” 

“You’re not yourself this week. Tell me why.” 

Of course. Is he so easy to read? Odin obviously knows he’s uncomfortable, but that Leo has picked up on it means he’s done a bad job of keeping his feelings in check. He wanders closer to Leo’s desk with his arms folded protectively around himself, but he doesn’t know that he’s going to open his mouth and talk.

He can’t. He’s not ready to talk. He hums instead, instead of a whine, and Leo doesn’t press him further. 

The following evening he catches Odin talking with Laslow. For a moment he thinks about just continuing on his way, but something in his chest tightens and he decides to listen in before they notice him. Odin’s expression is all he can see, eyes worried and jaw tight, and is he in trouble?

“I thought this was it,” Odin admits, softly. His eyes turn sad. “My parents--hah.” 

Laslow lifts his arm and pats Odin’s bicep. “Your parents?” 

“They always told me they just knew. They didn’t know when they realized it, they didn’t know how long it took, but they both  _ knew.  _ It was destiny, true love.” 

“And now you don’t think as much?” Niles isn’t sure he’s ever heard Laslow speak so gently. He knows he’s never seen Odin’s smile look so bittersweet. “Odin, I know the feeling, trust me, but we need to go home. We never planned to stay here.” 

Oh. Is Odin leaving Nohr after all? Niles knew that he was from some far off place. He knew that Leo gave him permission to leave one day, should he need to. Now that they’re no longer at war he’s not strictly needed. 

That’s a lie, though. Niles needs him--wants him.

“I wasn’t… I wasn’t going to leave, Laslow.” Odin glances in his direction and Niles almost thinks he’s been seen, but then he looks away just as quickly and shakes his head. “I was thinking… I want to stay with him. I don’t have anything back home. I thought he could be my new family.” 

Niles has to walk away. He can’t keep listening to this, because it just stirs up the confusion. Is he supposed to stop Odin from going home? It sounds selfish. Is he supposed to let him go? It would be safer than admitting he’s vulnerable for him. But… Odin is nothing if not vulnerable and happy and in love for Niles, too. They would be able to protect each other. 

He goes to Odin’s room and not his own. 

He spends nearly an hour in there, alone. He sits on the bed with his legs folded under himself, and he thinks. He thinks about what it means. He thinks about how he feels. He thinks about Odin leaving… and then his door opens. 

At first, he just closes the door gently behind him, but then it clicks closed with a tiny slam when he sees there’s an intruder in his room. “Niles!” He squeaks out too loudly. “N-Niles, I... what are you doing here?” 

Niles can’t help a smile. Odin clutching his chest as if he’s seen a ghost makes him chuckle. “I overheard your conversation with Laslow.” 

“Ah… Overheard..?” Odin asks. He looks concerned and like he’s backtracking over his conversation and deciding if he said anything incriminating. He did. “Which part was that..?” 

“All of it, but more importantly the part where you said you might go home. Don’t. Don’t go back. I want you to stay.” 

This is it. This isn’t his choice, not really, but this is the choice Niles is making. He’s going to put his neck on the line to ask Odin to stay. Maybe he spent the last hour with Laslow convincing him to go home. Maybe he’ll say no. But Niles thinks he wants him to stay for a lot of reasons. Because Leo would miss him. Because this castle would be too quiet. Because Niles loves him. 

The next part is where he should wait for Odin to respond. He should patiently sit on the bed awaiting his answer. Niles can’t force himself to stay still for that. He pushes himself off of the bed, he takes the five steps to Odin, he swings his arms around his shoulders and he hugs him so tightly that maybe Odin won’t know he feels vulnerable. “Stay.” 

…

It’s another year before Niles realizes that when he asked Odin to stay he was practically asking him to marry him. They aren’t married yet, by any means. It’s just that when you agree to be the beginning of a man’s new life in Nohr, you’re offering up a bit more than a first date. Love, as it turns out, isn’t as scary as Niles first thought. Odin is just as safe as he always was, but now he has the keys to Niles’s locks and he’s the first and last person he sees each day. 

Getting married is a natural next step, and they decide to do that sometime in the summer months. There’s still plenty to do in the meantime. The highest priority is easing into the routines of having a new home. 

They found themselves a little cottage near the woods. It’s safe there, not woods enchanted with monsters. The cottage is made of stones polished by Nohrian rains and there are walls of ivy growing along its walls. It’s close enough to the castle that they can easily ride there in the mornings or home in the evenings… and that becomes their plan, seeing as how the stable at the side of their house is suited to two horses too. 

Niles loves taking care of the horses more than he ever expected to. Maybe it’s just something about knowing they love him too, in the way that dogs or cats love their owners. They seem to enjoy being brushed and having their shoes cleaned, and he doesn’t mind the work. It’s soothing. 

He’s just caring for them, taking the last of their equipment off for the day. Odin is draping the saddle blankets over a wall to air them out before morning comes. Everything is terribly calm, as they prepare to head inside, make dinner, and be everything but married for the evening. Then, suddenly, it isn’t. An eerie wind blows and spooks the horses. It spooks Niles too. 

But then it also spooks him when it happens again, this time clearer. Odin turns and looks up. His eyes are closed, like he’s searching for the source of the noise. “Nefarious spirits?” He says, but his volume is low while he searches for that sound. 

The wail comes again and Niles can tell it’s coming from the well to the side of the house. They don’t use the well. There’s a pump that functions well enough, and when they moved into this home they opened it up to see what was inside. It’s been filled in with dirt nearly to the top. It’s just a ruin. 

A filled-in ruin shouldn’t be able to produce a haunting cry. Niles comes to a stop there and Odin stands at his side. For a moment Odin looks directly at Niles, something forlorn in place of his normal brightness. “That isn’t a demon,” He whispers, before he crouches and shoves on the lid of the well. He grunts under the weight of the stone, and Niles bends to help him until it falls right off the other side and the cries stop, startled. 

It’s a little girl. There’s no note, no blankets to keep her warm, nothing but the threadbare shirt on her body. Left in a well, sealed up like a grave, she was obviously abandoned. Niles scoops her up and he’s startled by how cold she feels. Even with her big eyes wandering over the two of them, looking lively, he wonders how long she was out here freezing. 

“She might not even be a whole year old,” Odin mumbles. There’s a grumpiness to his voice that Niles easily identifies as offense. He’s angry that someone would abandon the baby. He’s angry that they left her here in the cold and not in a church or sanctuary or someplace safer. He’s mad that this was an attempt at murder and not an attempt to find her a new home. The situation wouldn’t be much different had she been bundled up in a basket on their doorstep, but the dread would be gone. “I wonder if she’ll be okay.” 

Surviving an experience like this… she might, but she might not. Niles carries her inside and that’s the last time he speaks to Odin for twenty minutes. Odin wanders to their little kitchen but Niles starts searching for something, anything, to keep her warm. He finds a wicker basket that he stuffs with a cushion and blankets and he lays her in it, close enough to the fire to keep warm. Odin brings him an old glass milk bottle that has been washed out and filled with warmed milk. There’s a clean cloth he’s stuffed into the top of it. Niles doesn’t know if she’ll be willing to gnaw on that for milk or not, but it’s the only thing akin to a bottle they have. 

And while Niles struggles to feed a freezing baby, that’s the last time he sees Odin for another hour.

He comes back to a fussier baby, angry she can’t figure out how to eat, and a frustrated Niles. He’s starting to feel the same level of offended that Odin was before. If they had left her on the doorstep with a note and a bottle and a blanket this would be easier. But Odin comes in with a bag from the market and the first thing he does is settle down on the floor by the fire, with Niles, and pull the untouched milk into a container more suitable for a baby. He picks her up and she takes to drinking from  _ that _ like she’s never had a meal before in her life. It shuts her right up. 

So while Odin balances her and his frown comes right back--and Niles understands the frustration--Niles sorts through what he brought back. There are a few blankets meant for her, one more of the baby bottles, two little shirts and a pair of socks to get her by. It’s clear he was in a hurry and just grabbing what he could think of, but it makes Niles smirk. “Am I to believe we’re supposed to adopt her?” He asks. 

Odin glances up and looks perplexed. “If she survives the night… Is there an alternative you can think of?” 

Niles shakes his head. If she survives the night is a strong  _ if.  _ She hasn’t stopped shaking, even when she’s been by the fire and in their arms. Maybe she’s not cold, maybe her body is in shock. He can’t help her more than he is now. But she’s eating, so that’s a hopeful sign. 

He picks up a box from the bottom of Odin’s sack and waggles it around, curiously. Odin glances at it, and then at Niles, and his smile breaks through his frustration. “The rings, for the wedding. While I was in town the jeweler pulled me aside to give me our order. Apologies, Niles, but calming the baby took precedence.” 

Niles rolls his eye but he does open the box and try on his ring. They’re meant to be exchanged at the ceremony, but there’s no harm in making sure they look good. And, honestly, once he manages to convince Odin to give him his hand, it looks good on him too. 

And he looks sweet with that baby. Odin blinks at him, asking what he’s staring at with owlish eyes, but Niles isn’t afraid to admit it. “You look good with her.” 

Maybe if she survives the night, after all, they’ll make this parenting thing work.

…

Nina was a fighter from the day they found her. She was spunky and strong-willed and energetic. When Niles holds his second daughter for the first time, she’s none of those things. She’s a little smaller than expected and a little too still. He’s got her propped up against his chest, trying to rub some life into her. Trying to make her interact at all. 

They didn’t know they wanted Nina when they met her, but they knew they wanted this one. They worked for this one, planned for this one, and now she’s weak. Odin sits beside Niles, watching. He looks like maybe he’s afraid if he talks too loudly it will spook her and she’ll forget how to breathe. Niles is almost afraid of the same thing.

The healer who was looking after her gathers up her belongings with a frown etched deep into her brow and the shake of her head. “No sense in naming that one, I’m afraid. She won’t make it through the night.” 

“You can leave,” Odin snaps, his voice shorter than Niles has ever heard it. She doesn’t seem bothered, she must expect an emotional response. But she does leave, just as Odin stands up to shoo her out the door. And when she’s gone he turns and leans against it, and Niles knows he’s there, but he’s busy trying to coax some energy into this baby girl. 

“She needs a name,” Odin exhales to ease his own tension, but the sigh does nothing but reminds Niles of how on edge they both are. He rubs her back still. She coos, but the noise isn’t there, it’s just a wheeze that dies in her throat. “She deserves to be named.” 

“Odin,” Niles says, and he wishes it didn’t sound mean. He wishes his stress and his fear and his uncertainty didn’t manifest in a snippy tone that his husband doesn’t deserve because he’s just as afraid. “Quiet. We’ll name her.” 

“She deserves a name right  _ now,”  _ Odin stresses. Niles ignores him. He’s listening to the baby girl in his arms, breathing. It’s slowing down, and he’s not sure if it’s because she’s struggling or if she’s getting the hang of it. He stands up and paces the room with her.  _ “Niles!”  _

“You take ages to name something,” Niles snaps back. “It would take you all week.” 

“So you name her!” Odin shouts. Not even a happy shout--it’s desperate and scared and Niles hasn’t heard that tone in his voice since the war. Odin must see the surprise on his face because where he was about to stand up and walk closer, he settles back down in his spot. “I know you already picked one out. If a name came to you so long ago, it must be hers.” 

“Odin,” Niles starts. He means to say it’s not fair. She’s their daughter. She may not make it, and they’re both upset, but even the most emotional part of Niles knows he should talk it over first. He shouldn’t just be the one who exclusively decides what to name their daughter. 

“Please,” Odin mutters.

Goddess, he’s got puppy eyes the likes of which have never been seen. Niles lays his cheek on his daughter’s little head. “Ophelia,” He says, quietly at first. “I want to name her Ophelia.” 

And it must have been a true act of fate or whatever it is Odin likes to say, because upon hearing her name Ophelia Dusk wails and cries: the first noise she makes in her little life.

…

Nina rushes forward and sprints away from Niles like he isn’t the one who loves her and feeds her and bathes her and parents her. She flings herself into the arms of her short-term babysitter “Auntie Selena!” They cry, ecstatic to be with her. 

Niles doesn’t get it; she’s not the nicest person by all appearances. But Nina loves her because they read together and do each other’s hair. “Not even a hello to me?” Laslow asks. He steps forward and scoops Ophelia away from Odin and into his arms, kissing her cheek with little pecks, but she’s too little to fight back. 

“It won’t be long,” Odin says. He looks calm and happy. Not like he’s about to go off on a dangerous mission for the first time in years. Maybe it’s just the part of him that longs for adventure. Niles is a little happy to be out and about too. “Ophelia needs to be fed every couple of hours, but she’s drinking from a bottle instead of a dip rag, finally.” 

Force-feeding a baby will certainly drive a man to insanity, but they managed. She’s chubby and sweet and healthy now, and Niles wonders if the woman who insisted she wouldn’t live feels relief or frustration when she’s wrong. 

He bends down to kiss the top of Nina’s head, and she looks back at him with a grin. “Bye, daddy!” She says. Odin hugs and kisses her too, and then she turns away. She’s ready to run off with her aunt and uncle. Laslow pats Odin’s arm and then smiles for Niles. 

“Whatever mission this is, it must be dire to need you both. Don’t worry about the girls. They’ll be safe with us.” 

“Don’t get hurt,” Selena mutters. But that’s all they say on the subject because upsetting Nina is the last thing they want to do. Niles doesn’t think this will turn into anything anyway. It’s not the same as running dangerous errands behind Garon or Iago’s back. 

The whole mission is actually really calm. Niles finds that he enjoys it. He enjoys being on the road with Leo and Odin again. Odin rarely even works for Leo anymore… he semi-retired himself to raise two girls. It’s like old times, and the familiar chatter among the three of them is refreshing. 

That is until invisible soldiers like those from Valla appear. The battle after  _ that _ is a blur. Right from the start, Niles is hit in the side of his head and he hears a ringing in his ear after that far louder than the cries of battle. He’s off his balance--it’s probably got to do with his ear but before he knows it he’s hurt. 

He’s not sure how long he lays there in the dirt before he feels more than hears Odin. He pulls Niles up into his arm and props him against his chest while he works healing magic over a would that runs clean through his stomach. The injury is bad--a sword would that nearly sliced him in half. Niles can’t feel it anymore, he’s been numb for a while now, but even hazy and surely dying he knows that a little healing spell can’t fix that. 

“You’ll be alright,” Odin says. Niles peers up at him, but his eyelid is heavy and he has trouble seeing. His vision is a little dark around the edges. Oh, but he can see tears. He can see the way Odin’s face scrunches up and he sobs, and he pulls his cape to use to slow the bleeding as if it might help anything at all. It’s at that moment that both of them must realize he’s dying.

“Don’t go,” Odin chokes out. He seems torn between applying pressure or healing magic, and he’s clearly struggling to do both. “Please, don’t. I can’t lose anyone else, I can’t lose you.” 

Niles tries to raise his hand but it’s difficult. Odin must catch the twitch of his fingers because he reaches out and pulls Niles’s hand close to his cheek. He kisses his palm and then brushes his cheek against it. “Nina and Ophelia need you. Ophelia is a baby, she needs to  _ know you.  _ Please, Niles, I…” 

Niles can’t help him. He can’t change it. He’s gasping for air, choking on his own blood and spit and unable to capture any breath. He lays his head against Odin’s chest, too heavy to hold anymore. He’s not sure if he’s closed his eye or if his vision has just gone black. He’s not sure if he’s talking--how can he be? He’s choking.--but he wishes he could just lie. He wants to lie to Odin. He wants to say it’s okay. Even if he’s not there, even if he doesn’t make it, Odin will be okay. 

“I promise to always be there for you,” He says, but his voice is clear as day and he’s certain the words never left his lips. His awareness fades away to the sound of Odin’s sobs bouncing around in his brain.


	2. Love Story

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has a trans character and also very vaguely (though mostly off-screen) trans pregnancy so just in case that triggers or worries you please keep that in mind. :) This is the only chapter that is relevant to.

_ So I sneak out to the garden to see you _

_ We keep quiet ‘cause we’re dead if they knew _

_ So close your eyes, escape this town for a little while _

_ ‘Cause you were Romeo, I was a scarlet letter _

_ And my daddy said “Stay away from Juliet”  _

_ But you were everything to me, I was begging you, please, don’t go _

“You’d think they’d pay their employees more if they wanted anything to get done around here.” Niles listens to one of the other men in the stable chatting away while he does his own job tending to the horses. It’s not that he disagrees, he just doesn’t want to say it out loud. He thinks if he acts thankful for his  _ job _ he’s more likely to keep it. But the man operating this estate,  _ Validar,  _ pays hardly more than pennies for work that deserves much more. 

His dumb niece is going to take over the estate and drive it even further into the ground. In another year or so at most. She’s plenty of age, but typically society wants a young lady to be married before she inherits an estate. A man should take care of the estate, not a woman. 

The stupid thing is that the old owners would never have stood for this level of bullshit. Niles never met them himself, but he’s heard it over and over. Robin was a  _ good man.  _ Lissa was  _ independent.  _ They would have raised their daughter to take over for them. They used to pay their employees twice, maybe thrice this much. 

Or so the rumors say. “So get back at them,” He finally mutters. The other men fall silent. One of them walks away, leaving Niles to chat with a man named Harry or something, but he rarely remembers the names of boring people. He’s a boring person. “Do something about it.” 

“Like what? I can’t afford to lose this job, we’d have nowhere to go.” 

Niles rolls his eyes, but ultimately dips his head in a wink. “Don’t get caught.” 

“What..?”

So that night Niles puts together a harmless prank. It’s just an act of karma, just to get back at a family who cares so little about their staff they hardly deserve to have them. Just to dump a bucket of worms in the bed of their  _ precious _ Lady Grace. He climbs up the trellis that hangs by her bedroom window. It’s wobbly at best and he’s not convinced it will support his weight long, but he’ll be in and out and it will be like nothing ever happened. 

Harmless. 

He climbs in the window and takes a moment to catch his bearings. There’s a screen in front of him, one to change clothes behind. It’s blocking the window, and Niles wonders if Grace actually uses it… because he’s never seen her silhouette before. In fact, no one has seen  _ her _ before. 

She’s tended to by a nursemaid and personal butler, and they’re the highest-paid people on the property, Niles would guess. Paid to keep whatever terrible secrets she has, because she certainly has to have a pig snout for a nose to be hidden away so often. He’s just about to step around the screen and into the room when the door opens and he hears a set of voices. 

He knows Frederick’s voice. He’s practically the owner of the estate. Validar is, rightfully, but Frederick runs the show. He does his part of the work, he goes out of his way for the staff… Niles likes him, really, but he’s just as strict as he is kind. Considering they’re in Grace’s room, Niles would think the other voice would be hers… but the voice he hears isn’t all that feminine. 

Maybe, he supposes, it’s her butler. 

“He said it? To you?” The voice asks. 

“Yes, Owain,” Fred answers. His voice is low and drags, clearly unhappy. “He said it  _ pointedly.  _ He directed it at  _ me.  _ He intends to marry you, and I may not be able to stop it.” 

Niles can see just the faintest outlines of their bodies through the screen. He sees Owain fold his arms with a loud huff. “He thinks if he marries me that he’ll finally be entitled to the full estate.” 

“Certainly,” Frederick agrees. “He won’t stop until he’s run it into the ground. Your parents would never have allowed a man like that to marry you.” 

Owain’s entire demeanor changes. His voice lifts in a little chuckle. “You either, right dad?” He asks. Niles has no idea what’s happening here. He doesn’t know why it sounds like this boy is the heir to the estate when he’s been told Grace is. He didn’t know that Frederick had a son. “If Validar married me he would treat me like a doormat to be walked all over. Not to mention he would treat me like a  _ wife.  _ I won’t be marrying anyone who can’t call me their husband.” 

Oh. Niles’s mouth falls open as it all clicks into place. That is Grace. Grace isn’t a woman. Or maybe this isn’t a man. One way or another,  _ this _ is the big secret. Validar is trying to marry Owain or Grace or whoever this is to maintain control of the estate… and Grace isn’t willing to marry someone who doesn’t treat her like a man. Which… is complex. It’s hard to wrap his head around. 

Maybe he was a little quick to judge the situation. Regardless, there’s a sudden noise of interest from Frederick before the screen is pushed aside and anger writes itself across his stern features. “Excuse me?” He asks, and Niles imagines that lilt in his tone is rage. “What exactly do you think you’re doing here?” 

Ah, shit. Owain walks over. He strolls with his hands folded behind his back and Niles is quickly distracted by him. He looks like sunshine. He’s got bright eyes and freckles and blonde hair like he’s literally a sunflower out in their fields. He bends down and picks up the jar of worms sitting near Niles’s feet. “Oh?” He asks. “A prank on the owner of this house?” He grins. 

Oh, no, he’s got a pretty smile. This is it. The reason no one ever sees Lady Grace is because she’s a boy and she’s  _ handsome.  _ But Frederick is still frustrated. He’s rubbing at the bridge of his nose and muttering something under his breath. Finally, he says, “Niles. Get out of here before I report this incident.” 

Owain’s smile comes back wider. “Be careful. When Fred says he’s going to tattle, he does it.” 

Niles backs up a few steps the way he came. If they’re letting him go, he won’t question it. He’s sure Frederick will find him later to threaten his life or something. He slips back out onto the trellis and starts down… only to glance up and see Owain leaning out the window. “Niles! I fear you’ve forgotten your friends!” He holds the jar in his hand. Niles is confused for a handful of seconds… but he climbs back up just enough for Owain to lean close and whisper. “By the way. Forget what you heard in here, alright? You tell everyone that you saw Lady Grace scream and panic over those bugs.”

“But…”

Owain hums a noise soft and sneaky like he’s trying not to let Frederick overhear. “Tomorrow at noon I might find myself in the stables. Don’t you work there?”

He dumps the jar of worms over Niles’s head. 

…

When he’s faced with the two men in the stable, they’re already asking him about the worms. They heard about it through the grapevine--worms in Lady Grace’s bed. It had to be Niles, right? So he takes the credit for the rumor that Frederick, no doubt, spread. It’s all fine and dandy, but he has questions. Will Owain actually show up here today? If he does, maybe he would be willing to answer some of them. 

Come noon he does arrive, dressed in riding gear. A dark colored coat that comes to his waist but the tail hangs down towards his knees. His breeches are a quite ugly shade of musturd yellow, buttoned down the sides of his legs and tucked into boots that also rise to meet them at his knees. The outfit itself is quite stylish, expensive no doubt. He would expect someone who owned this estate to wear such a thing. It’s the color scheme that’s a little… off. But somehow, paired with the sunshine that composes Owain’s biological make-up, it works. For him. No one else could ever pull that outfit off. 

No one pays him any mind. They know Owain’s face as one of the employees who works inside. He’s fooled people into believing he’s his own butler. It’s absurd. “Niles!” he barks with too much enthusiasm and a mysterious posture, “I hope you’ve readied a horse?” 

Pardon Niles if he’s drooling a bit, and that’s why he’s slow to respond. Leave it to him to develop a crush overnight on a person he knows next to nothing about and who talks like a crazy man, wears black and yellow outfits, and dumps worms on people’s heads. This has never been such an issue for him before. 

Owain pats the cheek of one of the horses, blissfully unaware that Niles is starting to dissolve into dust, and he cocks his head to take a glance at him. “I’ll need you to join me,” He adds. 

Yes, okay. Niles turns around to go get the supplies for the horse Owain has chosen, and to saddle up one of his own. Harry the Boring pulls him aside and hisses near his ear, “Who is that? Is that Lady Grace’s butler?” 

“Yes,” Niles whispers back. What else is he meant to say? He doesn’t want to out them until he knows the whole story. 

“Is he here to reprimand you? Have you been caught?” 

“I don’t know,” Niles mumbles. And he doesn’t. He assumes if he were going to be punished Frederick would do it. He’s not against strict punishment, after all, even if he is a gentle soul at heart. Niles can tell. His outward sternness is really just… a sort of wariness. He’s protecting someone. Probably Grace. Or Owain, as the case may be.

Owain clearly doesn’t need help with his horse because by the time Niles has led both horses out of the stables Owain just flashes him a grin and races off. Niles has to fumble onto his horse just to keep up. He gives chase through the expansive estate, past gardens and farm lands until Owain finally swings down from his horse and runs off on foot through some of the trees. 

He’s clearly playing a game, and Niles is playing along with it because every time Owain looks back to be sure he’s being followed, Niles is there to see that smile. It’s sort of fun, he has to admit. The weave through the woods at the end of the estate until they stop at a small, overgrown garden with a gazebo in the center. Owain falls down on its wooden steps laughing. 

Niles has to lean on the wooden archway, grown over with ivy and wildflowers, that marks the entrance of this old garden. He’s barely caught his breath at all, but he pants out the words “Can I help you?” 

Owain snorts out another bout of laughter, but he eventually sits up more appropriately on the gazebo steps. “Well, Niles,  _ you  _ were the one sneaking into my room last night. Perhaps there is more accurately something I can do for you?” 

No. Well, yes, Niles wants to have a conversation. Owain scoots over so he’s only taking up part of the steps, and Niles accepts the invitation to sit down and join him there. Being this close it’s easy for Owain to lean over and bump his shoulder against Niles’s. “Tell me what the staff thinks of me,” He says after a moment passes. “I want to know why you saw fit to walk beneath the starlight and dump worms in my bed.” 

“They think you’re a spoiled rich girl with no desire to help take care of them.” Niles has always been one for the brutal truth, but he doesn’t like the frown it puts on Owain’s face.

“There’s little I can do until I’m wed. Validar has control over the estate until then, and Father can only do so much when he lacks significant authority. And I am  _ not _ a spoiled rich girl.” 

“What  _ are you?”  _ Niles asks since the subject has been properly brought up. He’s never in his life heard of a situation quite like this. “Are you a woman? Or a man?” 

Owain blinks at him owlishly, as if he didn’t expect the question to come up. Surely he had to know it would--Niles has just found out that Lady Grace isn’t  _ real.  _ “Do I look like a man?” 

He does. His jaw is square, his voice is masculine, his chest looks flat… He’s dressed as a man, even if it’s a bad taste in fashion. So he nods his head. “Yes, clearly.” 

“Ha! You’ve answered your own question, then.” Owain sits back on his hands, relaxing it seems despite the conversation turning awkward. Niles isn’t sure about a girl--and surely he must have been born as Grace, a young woman, because people speak of seeing her playing in the fields as a child--just up and deciding to be a boy. Owain is gorgeous, though, so who is Niles to pick a fight about it? 

They spend the whole afternoon together. Owain must have been bored, trapped inside for most of his time. He’s happy to be out in the fresh air, he seems energized by the sunlight and the flowers. Now and then while they talk his cheeks dust with a pink blush that Niles has to work for, but it’s incredibly handsome when it’s settled beneath his freckles. Owain goes on and on and on about everything and nothing. 

They walk a trail that circles the meadow in the woods, and Owain goes from talking about his interests and Niles’s work to talking about his family history. Niles hates to say he pays more attention to that, but it’s the gossip he’s been waiting to hear. 

“Traditionally a young woman isn’t allowed to lead an estate. She’s asked to take a husband, who will operate the estate while she does all of the womanly duties like, I don’t know, knitting.” He folds his hands behind his back, and Niles wonders why. Is it because this makes him feel somber, or angry? He was vividly talking with his hands before. “Validar wants to marry me, because then he will be the proper owner of my family’s estate. You see, he’s my father’s brother. My birth father, that is.” 

He doesn’t leave room for Niles to ask how Frederick became his father, now, because he goes on to complain further. “I want to fall in love, Niles! I want to experience a romance so devastating that I can’t live without it. I want it to be a tale suited to a novel or a play. I want to be the man that someone looks at and thinks they  _ must  _ have me.” 

How insane. Every word he says is fresh to Niles’s mind. He’s never felt himself wishing for romance in that way. He’s never bothered. But it’s just as Owain says he wishes for spontaneity that Niles tugs him back by his wrist and kisses him. 

Reasonably, Owain pushes against Niles’s chest with his palms until they’ve separated. He stares up at him with big eyes that display everything he’s thinking. Confusion, uncertainty… To be perfectly fair it as entirely inappropriate. 

But then he pulls down on Niles’s shirt and kisses him harder. 

…

That day was the beginning of a love story. Niles didn’t want to fall in love until it was happening. It’s like a fire that sparks within him until he’s gone from nothing to everything. He’s addicted to Owain and to his dumb laughter and his dramatic stories. He’s even kind of in love with his father, with the way he huffs and reminds them to be careful and not to make a fuss in front of anyone and  _ stay out of this bedroom, Niles.  _

He learns all of the secrets of that house. The nooks and crannies and hidden rooms, and the history that Owain teaches him. The birthmark on his arm that marks him as the heir to the estate. The story of how his parents fell in love and were married. The story of how his mother was also quite in love with her retainer, and so the three of them became an item together. And that’s why, of course, he calls Frederick his father. Owain tells him that he looks just like his mother, so he’s told, and there’s no way of knowing who is biological father is… but they say that it was Robin, because legally speaking he is the rightful husband and owner of this estate. 

He whispers that if he were not the owner… that if Frederick were the man who put on the show of marrying his mother, that all of this would be different. Validar has no relation to Frederick. He would never have been here to start with. 

He learns about Owain’s childhood. About the day when he declared to Frederick that he wasn’t supposed to be a girl, and how his father took it upon himself to right the situation immediately. He learns how to tie the bindings that keep Owain’s chest flat, and he certainly learns how to untie them at the end of a long day. He learns the shape of Owain’s body when it’s pressed flush against his own, the sound of his pulse against Niles’s ear, the texture of his fingertips against Niles’s hips. 

Gossip spreads despite Frederick’s efforts. Some of the staff report hearing  _ noises _ from Grace’s bedroom at night. Some others claim they saw silhouettes in the window. (They couldn’t have. There’s a screen there. Niles knows from experience.) Validar is not fond of the rumors. He claims that should any man or woman be caught with Lady Grace, he will execute them. 

Execute, Owain says, is quite the dramatic choice in words… because he has little authority to do so. Murder, he says. He will be a murderer. Niles is chilled by the idea that he’s risking his life just to kiss a cute boy, but it’s more than that. This is that wild, fearless love that Owain wanted in the first place. It must be, because when Niles looks at Owain he thinks he absolutely  _ must _ have him. 

Validar announces the news that he is courting Lady Grace to quell the rumors. Some people take the bait. They accept that Grace is canoodling with  _ him,  _ and talk of her having bad taste and the dim future of the estate overtakes the gossip of a secret lover. 

Until a day comes when there’s new gossip, gossip Niles can’t personally explain. A rumor that Lady Grace is expecting a bastard. It’s Boring Harry that mentions it to Niles, and it takes him some time to properly digest the information. Meanwhile Harry is just chattering. “Seems to me that if Lord Validar wants to run the estate anyway, he ought to just marry her now and make an honest heir out of that baby. After all, it’s gotta be his.” He shrugs his shoulders. “Right? Unless the old rumors were true…” 

“Right,” Niles mutters. Then he leaves. 

Not long later he’s climbing in through Owain’s window, and Owain has an arm on his to help him up. He’s clearly come in mid-lecture, because Frederick is talking urgently, but softly. “What  _ happened?”  _ Niles asks. 

“I imagine you know what happened if you’re here,” Frederick folds his hands behind his back. Owain huffs and sits on the edge of his bed. Niles stands awkwardly by the screen. “There’s no need to ask how it happened--obviously the answer is you both failed to be as careful as I warned you to be.” 

“That’s not fair,” Owain starts. 

Niles doesn’t say anything. He was sort of expecting to come up here and find out this was an elaborate lie. How come he wasn’t invited to the club of people who knew Owain was having a  _ baby? _ He feels like he should have been one of the founding members, quite frankly. “Shouldn’t I have found out…” He pauses when they both look at him. Impressive how Owain can look just as judgemental as Frederick, in times like this. “...Sooner?” 

“I didn’t know,” Owain starts, and it’s overlapped by his father. 

“Because you’ve already impulsively come here. It’s incriminating. What if someone were to see you in here now, Niles? If your name becomes tied to this, Validar will kill you. You need to leave.” 

“It’s only a few minutes,” Owain argues, softly. “No one will find him here, and he should be involved in the conversation…” He sounds like he’s already been lectured for a while. His voice is less boomy and cheerful. Frederick probably hasn’t let up on this since he found out. And, odds are, he found out the very same way Niles did: because a nursemaid told a friend who told a friend who told another. 

“No. The estate. Niles needs to leave the estate.” 

“What?” 

Niles’s voice overlaps with Owain’s. Frederick folds his arms. “Pay attention. Validar will kill you, just like he killed my family.” 

“Dad,” Owain whispers.

Niles folds his arms. Owain told him that they weren’t sure what happened to Robin and Lissa. Just that their carriage was found overturned and empty on the road one day, and the only reason Frederick wasn’t with them is that he was home tending to their sick baby. “You don’t know if they’re dead.” 

“Niles. Pack and leave. This is an order from your superior. You’re being let go.” 

“Well, I’m not leaving. Won’t this entire problem be solved if  _ I _ married Owain?” The silence between the three of them stings. Should he have said that? It was off his tongue before it had properly settled in his mind. Marry Owain. He’s not got the social status for it, even if that was the only issue at hand. But he watches Owain cross one knee over the other and playfully balance his elbow against it and his face in his hand. 

“Are you proposing marriage, Niles? Typically you’re meant to get my father’s blessing before you ask me.” 

“I--” 

“I accept, of course.” 

“Owain,” Frederick cuts in, “This is a serious situation.” 

“I am at my most serious! I would like to marry Niles.” 

Oh, that feels nice to hear. Frederick pushes his hand through his hair. “Yes, Owain. I am well aware. And on the subject, you have my blessing, but that changes nothing. Validar won’t just step aside and let someone marry you when he is trying to take over this estate. This changes nothing. He  _ will  _ kill Niles.” 

Did he just get engaged?

Owain sighs and stands up. He hugs his arms around Niles’s neck and squeezes him in such a nice hug that it almost doesn’t feel like a goodbye until he steps back and holds his hands. “I will not marry Validar,” He says. “And he’s right. I have Frederick to protect me here, and Validar cannot hurt me. Even if he were not to need my hand in order to claim this estate, I am a man far too powerful to be struck down so easily.” He drops his eye closed in a wink. Niles hates that he’s saying goodbye. “Of course, I expect letters. A plan to return. We can compose such plans--with my father of course--in secret, and--” 

The door opens. Validar enters without knocking, without permission, and Owain spins on his heel to glare daggers at him. It’s a look Niles certainly has never seen on his face before. “It’s  _ you,”  _ Validar says. Frederick pushes Niles out the window.

…

Incredible how fast a rumor can spread when it’s a wildfire. Niles has barely made it back to his room when some of his friends are pushing bags into his hand.  _ There is bread here. My wages are here. Take this. Run. We’ve packed your clothes. _

How did they know? The kindness they display is outrageous. He gets to the stable and Harry the Boring has become Harry the Bold, because he’s saddled up Niles’s favorite mare and filled a saddlebag with supplies to care for her on the road. Although he’s chased out of the estate… Niles feels more like he was sent off with love.

He never really thought of these people as family before today, but they’re the closest thing to family he’s ever known, and he’s starting to rethink what it feels like to be part of a family after all.

With no other options, Niles races out of the estate’s property. He rides until he can’t see even a speck of it on the horizon. Something needs to change. Frederick is right. Owain is certainly Niles’s happy ending, but that page in the story Owain wants to craft has been torn out entirely. Something must change. He needs to find out what really happened to Owain’s parents. 

…

Niles finds with a little time that he took his life in that stable for granted. He can’t read, for one thing. It’s rare for commoners who work on estates like that to be educated beyond what their parents teach them, and Niles didn’t have the luxury of parents. Seeing how he had to travel far to get out of Validar’s reach, it’s not as simple as asking around to find out if anyone heard rumors of what happened to them. But his luck changes one afternoon. 

He meets a boy about six years his junior. A teenager with sharp eyes who pulls at his sleeve in passing one day. “You. You’ve been here every day for two weeks. What are you doing?” The library. He’s been at this library every day, trying to teach himself how to decipher the books inside. “It’s obvious you can’t read. Explain yourself.” 

“What, do you own the place?” Niles asks. It’s a library. Sure, he doesn’t much belong in there… but it’s a public place and he’s not of such a low social standing that he’s forbidden entry. 

“Because I came to strike a deal with you. Now tell me what it is your after so I can decide if you’re worth my effort.” 

Alright. Niles isn’t one for listening to rude nobility, but he was wrong about Lady Grace so maybe he’ll be wrong about this boy too. “Fine. My name is Niles. I’m trying to find out what really happened to Lord Robin of Ylisse and his wife. I think they were attacked.” 

“Hm.” 

Niles watches him process the thought. Maybe he’s trying to wrack his brain to find any knowledge of Robin or Lissa. He’s a touch too young to remember them, really. Niles certainly can’t. But he nods his head. “My name is Leo. If you escort me to and from my lessons every day, I will help you read anything you like.” 

It’s the start of a beautiful friendship. Niles finds out that Leo is sometimes bullied and pushed around on his walks to lessons. Kids are petty things, so he’s not that surprised. Niles can’t say he’s never been a bully. So Niles walks with him, and Leo introduces him as his gentleman in waiting, as if he were a paid retainer on staff at his home. He doesn’t visit Leo’s home, because he doesn’t belong to that estate… but they meet at the library often. 

Together with Leo they stumble into police records of the event. The overturned carriage, the lack of any bodies at the scene, and the fact that they were never found. There were no signs of a struggle. It’s as if they both vanished. 

Leo is a smart kid. Certainly smarter than Niles. He says he thinks they must have been forced or blackmailed to leave.

Tracking them down takes nearly an entire year. Certainly long enough without contact to the Ylissean Estate that Niles wonders if Owain even remembers him. He wonders if he went on to have that baby or not, wonders if he married Validar, wonders if he ran away. But with the help of Leo and several members of both law enforcement and local heroes, they do find that Robin and Lissa were held captive in--a surprise to no one--Validar’s homeland. They weren’t killed at all. 

So an entire year later Niles is at the very outskirts of the Ylissean Estate. Robin and Lissa are with him, ready to take their home back. He’s told them all he can about what’s happened in the years they were gone. He’s been angry at them. For twenty years they’ve been trapped, but in those twenty years did they even try to escape? Surely they did. Surely they were tortured, captive, imprisoned… but he sees them healthy and strong now and he wonders if they’ll be able to make all of this right. 

He wonders if Owain will forgive him for never sending a letter in the time he was gone, too. But he can’t write, and he wasn’t… quite willing to let Leo write a letter on his behalf, despite his many offers. 

The closer they get to the estate the more people join them. A slew of locals in a small mob, ready to put the rightful owners of Ylisse back in charge. And it’s on their way that Niles notices two people--people  _ leaving _ the estate grounds--hesitate and watch the mob walk past. 

“What is it?” Robin asks him. He sets a hand on Niles’s shoulder like they’re family. Maybe they are. Once upon a time he thinks he was, however briefly, engaged to his son. And if Robin or Lissa are upset or surprised that they left behind a daughter and are planning to be reunited with a son, they don’t complain. They seemed overjoyed just knowing Owain was alive. Ah, maybe the feeling Niles has towards Robin is normal. Don’t people often dislike their inlaws? He’s just getting a head start on that. 

Niles watches those figures. One of them rushes them, leaving the other startled and alone. Only a few paces into the sprint and Niles recognizes it as  _ Frederick.  _ And he hear’s Lissa’s voice as she pulls at Robin’s sleeve, gasping and calling out  _ Freddy!  _ Before they’re both swept far away from Niles and into his arms. 

He could stay and listen to their sweet reunion, but instead he walks towards the other figure, because it must be Owain. Frederick would never be out here without him. So when they meet halfway and Owain’s face twists up into anger, Niles hates that all he feels is relief. “How could you vanish!” Owain shouts. His eyes shine with tears brought on by rage and probably his  _ overflowing darkness _ or something of the like. 

He’s got their baby propped up on one arm. He doesn’t address her. Niles waits patiently for Owain to finish shouting. “We had a plan, letters, Niles! I had no choice but to think you were swallowed by an abyss, and…” He stops. Then he leans forward and drops his head on Niles’s shoulder. Slower, he whispers, “You found my parents, didn’t you?” 

“I did,” Niles answers. He slides just one hand up to settle on Owain’s side, where his thumb fiddles against the fabric of his waistcoat. “I can’t read, luv. Letters were never an option.” 

Owain laughs, pathetically, into his neck. Then he kisses it, ever so gently. The tiniest touch of affection. It’s followed by a one-armed hug, and he kisses his jaw, and then his lips, and Niles can’t believe that he is forgiven so quickly… but despite calling himself Owain  _ Dark,  _ Niles can never think of him as anything but brilliant, loving sunshine. He isn’t one to hold a grudge. 

“We were  _ leaving,  _ Niles. If you’d taken but a few more hours our paths would never have crossed again. You truly are a man of fate, aren’t you?” Owain pushes back from him and offers him a prize Niles didn’t know he wanted. He presents him with a chubby baby. “Thankfully you’ve changed her fate as well. Meet Ophelia Dusk! She is the caretaker of the sunlight and stars. Perhaps she bridged the gap that led you to me.” 

Very cute, but Niles can’t hear him. He can barely see Ophelia, barely see the world around him. His heart seizes up in his chest. His head burns, his blood pulses so loudly in his ears he thinks his head might explode on the spot. 

Very suddenly he doesn’t see Ophelia in Owain’s arms anymore. He sees her wrapped in blankets, born too small, and hears Odin begging him to choose a name. He sees Nina curled up with her sister, asking why she can’t eat normal food. And he hears Odin crying over him, pleading with him, begging him not to die. 

“Niles?” Owain asks. Niles startles back to reality, where Owain’s hand is pressed against his cheek and he looks concerned as ever. “You look faint. Sit down.” 

Niles shakes his head and swipes some tears from his eye with the back of his sleeve. He was given a second chance. It’s so different, and it hurts. His head is pounding. Memories of a life he didn’t live are rattling around in his head. Odin Dark. He can’t get him out of his mind, and while he doesn’t look exactly the same as Owain does now… goddess have mercy, he’s still the same man. 

So he swoops his arms around Owain, hugging him and effectively smooshing Ophelia in the process. Owain laughs, still obviously concerned, but Niles kisses the side of his head and whispers, “You never have to be alone.” 


	3. 1000 Miles

_ It’s always times like these when I think of you _

_ And I wonder if you think of me.  _

_ ‘Cause everything’s so wrong and I don’t belong _

_ Livin’ in your precious memories.  _

_ ‘Cause I’ll need you _

_ And I’ll miss you _

_ And now I wonder… _

“Nina, stop that,” Niles says. She’s an angel, his daughter, but she’s also a bit of a menace when she wants to be. Right now she’s walking home at his side. He has two paper bags of groceries in his hand, and she’s got her backpack in hers, swinging it back and forth by the handle. “You’ll break it.” 

“I won’t break it!” Nina argues. She’s ten. Adorable. Bright blonde hair, big green eyes. He adopted her five years ago, when he realized he wanted more out of life than being alone. She’s the best thing that ever happened to him. She’s also the most annoying thing that ever happened to him. 

Even so, she shifts to put the backpack on her shoulders properly and she starts chattering his ear off about her day at school. He hums and listens, asking her what  _ did _ Soleil say this time when she prompts him to.

She’s partway through a story about how Sophie and some boy in their class got detention because he called her fat and she beat him up when it happens. They’re crossing the street and one of the paper bags rips through the bottom. A few things fall out and he groans. 

Just his luck. “Nina, come help pick this up,” he says absently. He’s reaching for an orange when she screams. Niles’s heart legitimately stops beating. 

He watches in slow motion as a cab comes racing toward her on the street. His body is made of bricks. He drops everything, he’s fumbling to stand up, but he can’t move fast enough. He hears the screeching of brakes, hears honking in warning from other cars, hears a few other screams. They’re blurs in his mind. He’s not  _ fast enough.  _

The car comes to a stop, but not before it skids past where Nina was just standing. There are no gory bits of her left over, though… Just a man standing a few steps away, Nina in his arms. He’s panting, gasping, and she’s clinging to his shoulders talking to him. Niles still feels like his body is full of rocks while he tries to stand and walk around the cab--the driver is yelling at him to keep better track of his kid as if it’s somehow her fault that he almost ran over a child on a cross walk. 

The man is pushing her bangs back, he has his forehead rested against hers, he looks like he’s cooing at her as if he were her father. He’s not, of course. Niles is. But she clings to him and he swears he thinks she calls him dad, but he’s not really hearing right now. 

Niles’s fingertips are numb by the time he finally joins them on the other side of the street, and he’s barely breathing. His heart won’t stop racing. He needs his baby back. Instead he watches that man hold her. His hair matches hers, anyone might think he  _ was _ her father. They share the same freckles and eyes. It’s uncanny. 

“Nina, Nina, I was so afraid,” He whispers. The man. Not Niles. Niles can’t breathe enough to talk yet. How does he know her name? How does he say it so casually? Then he kisses her hair and Niles has had enough. He rips her out of his arms, until Nina is safely with him and he’s never planning to let her go again. She doesn’t fight him, of course. She hugs her father’s neck. Niles turns and leaves. He doesn’t thank the stranger. He doesn’t get his groceries. They’re going home. 

“Dad,” Nina whines near his ear. He knows she’s watching that stranger disappear into the distance while she’s carried away. “Did you see him? He’s here!” 

Niles looks back over his shoulder. He doesn’t recognize that man, despite what Nina is saying. He’s watching them. He looks awfully soft, maybe a little hurt. Almost a bit flushed under those freckles. When he sees that Niles has stopped, he jogs a few steps to catch up. 

“Niles!” he says, and Niles presses his lips into a tight frown.  _ How _ does he know his name? “Niles, it’s alright. You can breathe again.” What a thing to say. Niles does feel like he hasn’t taken a breath in hours. He sighs out some air, but he sucks it all back in with his next words. “I would never let any arm befall my own daughter.” 

“What…” Niles starts. “Fuck. Nevermind. Leave me alone.” 

“Wh--Dad!” Nina whines. The man looks just as startled. 

“I don’t know who you are. Thanks for saving my daughter, but you’re weird as hell and freaking me out. Get lost and don’t you dare follow me.” 

He thinks Nina waves at him before he walks home as fast as he possibly can. He doesn’t put her down until they’re in their house, and his arms ache from carrying her so far. They don’t have their groceries, but he walks into the kitchen and starts putting together a peanut butter sandwich for her to eat for dinner. He’ll get new groceries tomorrow. 

Nina follows him into the kitchen and sits at the counter. “Am I in trouble?” She asks. Yes! Of course she is. She was being  _ way  _ too friendly with that guy. He’s  _ talked  _ to her about strangers. This one was weirder than any he ever dreamed of! But he glances at her pouty face and he sighs. 

“Nina,” he pushes the sandwich towards her, and turns to pour some milk. “Have you met that man before? Why did he know our names.” 

It’s not until she’s taken a bite and swallowed, not until she chases it with some milk, that she looks at him again. “Well if you don’t know then you’re gonna think it sounds crazy…” 

“Try me.” Niles folds his arms. Nina looks at her plate. 

“Sometimes I have dreams--weird dreams where I grew up with you. Both of you--him too. His name is Odin. In the dreams, you died when I was pretty little… and then it was just Odin and me and Ophie, and he worked really hard to take care of us. Anyway… that was him. That was Odin. He’s my dad.” 

Well, that does sound crazy, but the part that hurts the most is Nina saying that someone else is her father. Especially when that someone else looks like he could be, especially when she’s allegedly dreaming about him. He doesn’t know if he believes in premonitions, but is that what this is? 

“I’m your father,” He says. He tries not to sound as hurt or angry as he is, but the startled look on her face must give it away. “Not some weirdo you dreamed up. Nina, gods, you probably saw him before on the streets and your imagination got away from you.” 

“Uh, excuse you!” Nina shouts. “How did he know my name then, huh? And yours! I’m not a liar, okay?” 

He did know Niles’s name. He looked like a kicked puppy when Niles shouted at him. So Niles sighs and sets down the knife he was planning to make a second sandwich with. “I know you’re not a liar, but  _ Nina,  _ I don’t know who that man is and that  _ scares me.”  _

“Wh… Like what? I’m not dumb enough to just walk off with someone without telling you. I wouldn’t just leave you alone, Dad.”

“You don’t understand, baby,” Niles says. “He literally had you in his arms. He could have walked off with  _ you.”  _

He would be devastated if he lost her. 

…

Niles does hear anything else about Odin. Nina is quiet about it. Maybe she took his concerns to heart. He’d like to think she understands the way he feels, especially when he was so open and honest with her.

Even so, he’s still worried. That man knew her name, knew his name, and he wonders what else he might know. Niles has never been as careful with the locks on his doors and windows. He’s never been more afraid of being stalked. It’s outrageous. What if he comes back for Nina? What if he  _ coached her _ to say those things? What if he’s some kind of child-napping pedophile type? 

Right now he can’t worry about that. Nina is at school and Niles is just getting on the train to head into town. He’s standing just by the doors when a little girl runs right onto the train with him. She’s probably only four or five, but she’s alone? 

No, she’s not. Odin is chasing after her, shouting. He’s running, and even though Niles still wants to assume he’s some kind of horrible man trying to steal away his daughter, he can recognize fear when he sees it. It’s the same look he had on his face when Nina nearly got hit by that car.  _ “Ophie!”  _

Ophelia. That’s her name. He looks at her and he has that same, terrible memory. His little girl in her blankets. Odin begging him not to die. He crouches down and picks her up. Unlike Odin, she doesn’t act like she remembers him. He remembers her twice, though. He remembers her in that first life… and he remembers meeting her a second time, when she was the heir to an estate. Where was Nina, then?

Odin stops in front of the door just as they’re starting to close. “Odin?” Niles asks, but he doesn’t have time. He shoves Ophelia back into her rightful father’s arms and the doors close tight. Niles watches Odin through them, watches beautiful shock cross over his eyes. He watches him realize that Niles remembers, now. The train pulls away. 

…

Nina crawls into his bed that night. She lays down beside him and tucks her head against his arm. “Dad? You’re being weird.” 

Niles turns onto his side and hugs her close to him. She whines and squirms. “Ew, gross,  _ Dad!”  _

“I saw Odin today. With Ophelia. I remembered this time--Nina, I’m sorry I didn’t believe you before.” 

Nina shoves on his chest to squirm away. “ _ Ophie _ was there?! Yes! Is she cute? How old is she? Do you think we’ll get along?” 

Cute. Wow, that’s cute. Niles rubs her shoulder. “She’s not as old as you,” He answers in a mumble. “And she was very cute. And, mind you, we’ll never find them again.” 

“What? No way. We just have to go through the phonebook, right? How many Odins can there be?”

“This city has six million people in it, Nina. We’ll find hundreds of Odins. We don’t know his last name, and, baby, he doesn’t even use that name every time. Sometimes he uses the name his parents gave him.” 

“Oh.” Nina sits up and starts fiddling with her hair. Gods, she looks just like him. Of course she can’t be his, not biologically. He wouldn’t have given her up. Still… it’s uncanny. “Maybe Leo can help?” 

“Leo is smart, but he isn’t psychic.” Niles sits up on the bed too. He pushes the pillows back and leans against them, and then he pats the spot between his knees. Nina sits there, and he picks up her brush from his bedside table and starts to comb out her hair. 

“Well, maybe fate will bring you back together again! That’s what Odin would say.” 

“Mm, maybe. Or maybe I missed my chance.” 

…

He’s standing in the park across the street from Nina’s school. They always meet under this same tree before they walk home. It’s easier than trying to navigate all of the cars and people who flood the front entrance. Niles has his guard down, here, and maybe that’s why he jumps out of his skin when his arm is grabbed. 

No, his arm isn’t grabbed. He’s being hugged from behind. Strong arms wrapped around his shoulders. Oh, he should panic but it’s such a familiar feeling. It’s nice for Odin to be taller than him again. It’s so, perfectly familiar. He turns his head to say something but he mostly gets a mouthful of Odin’s hair while he hugs him tighter-still. It doesn’t bother him. He can’t believe he’s even  _ here.  _

When he finally turns, Ophelia is here too. This time she’s not running away, but obediently standing at Odin’s side. Niles breathes out a nervous sigh. He feels like this might be a dream in a bubble that could pop. “Odin, I’m sorry.” 

“It’s alright,” He says. “You didn’t remember! But when you called me that on the train, I knew you had to remember then... That isn’t my name now.” 

“Owain, then,” Niles smiles. He nods his head. Owain. It’s alright. His name doesn’t matter, it’s his light that makes him the man Niles has loved over three lives. 

Odin nods his head. “I’m surprised you remember that. I’m sure I only ever told you that name once before.” 

Huh. 

Niles looks him over, skeptically. “You don’t remember living at the Estate..?” 

“What Estate?” 

Oh. Well, it doesn’t matter. “Nevermind,” Niles says with an absent wave of his hand. “You’re back here with me now. That’s all that matters.” 


	4. Close to You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> modern au, single parent stuff, a lot of medical references but ultimately no big warnings.

_ On the day that you were born _

_ The angels got together _

_ And decided to create a dream come true _

_ So they sparkled moon dust in your hair of gold _

_ And starlight in your eyes of blue. _

  
  


Nina is four. She keeps saying she wants a little brother or sister, and despite how often Niles tells her that he can’t make her one on his own, she figures out what adoption is via a cartoon. At first the idea of adopting another child seemed absurd. Nina is still very young, and despite being potty trained and capable of entertaining herself for a little while, she’s still very needy. She needs help with baths and with some tasks and Niles loves her, loves her so much, and that’s what being a parent is, isn’t it?

The idea of having another baby was absurd because he was happy with Nina alone, but she’s right. Both of them have more love to give. He loves being a dad, despite being nervous about it when she was an infant. Maybe he can share that love with another child in need. 

He was skeptical about this place when he first heard about it. He thought it would be harder to adopt a child than this, but as it turns out in this small town nothing is impossible. Now that he’s here it seems nice enough. There are kids happily playing in the yard with playground equipment and kickballs and jump ropes. 

A man with long, blonde hair braided down his shoulder meets Niles after a moment. “Hello,” He says with a gentle tone. “My name is Lucius. I’m happy to finally meet you in person, Niles.” 

He doesn’t shake his hand, but instead, he puts on a smile for Nina. She’s just sitting on Niles’s hip, he’s holding her, but Lucius says “And you must be Nina! I’ve heard so much about you.” 

She could giggle or be shy but her reaction is to stick her tongue out at him instead. He chuckles and stands more upright. Lucius guides him inside, down some halls and all the while he talks. He talks about the adoption process, about what’s left for Niles to do, and about how he can introduce himself to some of these children. 

Niles doesn’t know how he feels about it. It seems weird walking into a building and picking out a kid like they’re a dog at the pound. But he doesn’t get that far anyway. While they’re walking they pass by a room with some toys and tables, and there’s a little girl all by her lonesome coloring. Nina pulls on Niles’s shirt and squirms until she can get down. “Dad it’s Ophie,” She whispers before she bounds over to see what she’s coloring. 

He didn’t notice her before, but now that Nina says it he does. Somehow the memories of three lifetimes before this don’t startle him this time. It’s still new, it’s still enough to give him a dull headache, but he doesn’t collapse or even sway. It’s a good thing: he needs to be strong for his daughters. 

Oh, she can’t be more than two. She’s beautiful. She’s got Odin’s hair and has her little tongue stuck out between her lips while she focuses on scribbling with that crayon. She stops when Nina asks her if she wants to play… and he’s never been more proud of Nina. 

“Why is she alone?” He asks when Lucius comes to stand by his side. “She doesn’t want to play outside?” 

“No, she loves to play outside,” Lucius answers. He folds his arms and his voice turns soft. “She’s sick, you see, and some days are harder than others. She has trouble thriving like the other children.” 

Sick. Sick? His baby? He can hardly quiet the concern in his voice. “What’s wrong?” He asks.

“She has kidney failure. She needs a transplant, but she’s low on the waiting list for a donor. It’s harder to get her priority when she’s here. She needs a family that can get her better insurance and care.” 

Where is Odin? Niles doesn’t even understand why Ophelia is here. He would never let her go. Is he dead? Was she born without him knowing? Maybe, he supposes, they’re unrelated. Nina was adopted in every other life she’s shared with Niles, but she’s his biological daughter now. 

He looks back over to Nina. She’s hugging her arms around her sister and giggling with her. Niles doesn’t need to worry about Odin right now. If fate guides them together too, it will, but he has his daughters to worry about for now. 

…

Bringing Ophelia home is the best thing Niles has ever done. He has a lot to do, a million phone calls to make to get her on his insurance plans and to get her care lined up. She has medications and needs that Nina doesn’t have, but on her good days she’s bubbly and energetic and happy. 

He loves her so much. In the last two lives he shared with her she was always curious and bold, and he would hate to see that taken away from her by a treatable illness now. He hates that on her  _ bad _ days she just lays on the couch and watches cartoons, because she’s not strong enough to play. 

Ophelia doesn’t remember who they are. She didn’t the last two times either. Maybe she never will? Niles doesn’t mind. She seems comfortable and happy in her new family, and she loves Nina even if she is still learning who they are. 

He’s staring at his desk trying to figure out how he’s going to do this. Ophelia needs a babysitter during the day because she’s not in school, just like Nina, but he’ll need to find time to get her to specialist appointments too. He’s a little overwhelmed, but it’s worth it. She’s worth it. 

Speaking of her… Ophelia walks across the room. She’s so little, she toddles, and she stands beside Niles until he picks her up. From there she sniffles against his chest, but melts into him. He sighs and rubs her back.

“I didn’t do it,” Nina says. 

“You didn’t do what, luv?” Niles asks. 

“Make her cry.” 

Oh. Niles shakes his head. “No, Nina. You didn’t make her cry. She’s just sick right now, sometimes playing is harder.” 

“How do we make her better?” Nina asks. “Is it because daddy isn’t here?”

No, it’s not because of that at all, but Niles thinks Odin would keep them in higher spirits. 

…

Niles has had better days. 

He stayed home from work today because Ophelia was feeling sick to her stomach. It’s nothing contagious, he’s learned by now it’s just her sickness acting up. She wanted to lay down with him all day, and Nina was being a little extra needy too. Maybe it was a hint of jealousy at the attention her sister is getting… even if she does seem to remember her past life. She’s still only four. 

They’re both perfect angels now. They’re cuddled on either side of him, both of them napping, and Niles is thinking about dozing off too. They’re on the couch, there are some cartoons quietly on tv, but Niles is just… frustrated. 

Ophelia’s doctor told him that she’s in the queue for her transplant soon, and if she can get it in the next eight weeks she should bounce back with a full recovery. The trouble is that her blood type is hard to match to a donor. Despite the fact that she’s next in line to get it, there isn’t an available donor right now. If they can’t get it done in the next eight weeks he’s suggesting dialysis. 

Niles has never been so mad that he can’t rip his own kidney out before. He’s not a compatible donor for her and that  _ kills _ him. 

But it’s more than that. His life has been fuller than ever lately. Raising two girls is twice the work of just Nina. Braiding hair, picking out clothes… Nina has playdates and friends, and Ophelia has so many doctor visits… 

Was this what it was like for Odin? In their very first life, when Niles died and left Odin alone to raise their girls on his own, did he feel like this? He didn’t even have Saturday morning cartoons to help calm them down. 

He’s never been further away from Odin, but he feels closer to him than ever.

…

The waiting room of this hospital is painted with characters from a wispy cartoon. Trees that are furry and pink, grass that is an ocean of teal-blue… it’s very fanciful. It’s nice that a hospital geared towards children would be decorated in a way to make them comfortable. Niles is still uncomfortable, but that’s because his baby is in surgery. 

He’s only had her for half a year, but it feels like it’s been her whole life. He feels like he’s been fighting from the day she was born to this very moment, where she’s finally going to have her cure. Gods, he hopes this fixes everything. He hopes she can run and play again after this.

Part of it feels familiar. He can still hear the voice of that woman ringing in his ear. Entire lifetimes have passed, but her voice never goes away, she’s like a ghost.  _ No sense in naming that one, I’m afraid.  _

It doesn’t make sense to him, the medical mumbo jumbo. No amount of digging around for research helps. He’s not a doctor. It doesn’t make sense to him that a two year old girl can receive a kidney from a fully grown adult. Do they really not grow in size after that? How long is a kidney good for? If she receives one from an adult, will that one grow older and go bad sooner? 

Maybe that’s a problem for the future. He should just be thankful that someone compatible for her showed up before she got any worse. 

A nurse comes out and sits down on the little sofa beside where he’s been pacing. He knows she wants him to come sit down, she pats the seat, but it makes him worry even more. Is it a good or bad thing that she wants him to sit down? Gods, he regrets leaving Nina with Leo. He needs more emotional support right now than she does. 

So he sits down beside her, and she sets her clipboard down in her lap. She smiles at him, and that’s a little reassuring. “They’re just finishing up with Ophelia now,” she says. “Everything went well. Once they’ve got her in recovery and all bandaged up you can go see her. Maybe twenty more minutes.” 

Well that’s the best news he’s heard in his entire life. She fiddles with her thumb. She’s a cute woman. She’s got pink hair pulled back and icy blue eyes. She seems like the nervous type, but she manages to smile again. “There is one other thing,” She says. “The um, the man--the donor for her--he wanted to meet you. If that’s alright. I told him that you have every right not to see him.” 

Huh. What do you say to that? What do you say to a stranger who gives you a life-changing gift? “I should thank him,” He decides. She stands up and gestures for him to walk with her. 

“I think he seems very nice. He’s been sweet to all of the staff. He’s a little overly energetic, though. His name is Odin.” 

Oh.

Oh, of course. How could he think for even a moment that it  _ wouldn’t _ be Odin? Fate works in stupid ways, but they’ve always found each other. He hasn’t spent a life without Odin in it yet. (He hopes he never will.) Suddenly he’s a lot more eager to meet the stranger who saved his daughter’s life. Their daughter. Will he remember Niles? Will he know about their pasts? 

She knocks on the door before she opens it. There he is. He’s laying in bed reading, but the way he looks up and their eyes meet is charged with electricity. This is not a coincidence. So the nurse steps outside and Niles folds his arms and walks closer to the bed. “The nurse said she did just fine and she’ll be in recovery soon,” He says instead of a proper greeting. 

Odin smiles a little wider. Niles huffs. Odin winks. “You’re staring at me.” 

Well he’s never had that shade of hair before. It looks good on him--but it doesn’t look like Ophie’s at all. It’s a sort of reddish-brown that suits him fine. It brings out his freckles and eyes. “Sorry.” 

“Never apologize, Niles the Stargazer. I’m sure you were just captivated by my--oh.”

Good. Good, he remembers. Good, he won’t be mad when Niles leans down and smashes their lips together. He does whimper a little when Niles pulls him closer, and that’s fair. He just had surgery too, after all. So Niles sighs and sits on the side of the bed, slow and cautious so that he won’t hurt him again. 

This makes two lives in a row where Odin remembers Niles too. He plays with a bit of Odin’s hair. “I thought you were her father when I found her in that orphanage. I thought you’d died.” 

“Hmph! How bold of you to imply I’m not her father. It doesn’t matter that we aren’t related by blood. The bond of our family is something far stronger than that.” 

“You’re right,” Niles mumbles. He knows he’s right. Niles feels the same way about them himself. It doesn’t matter if they made them or not, they’re still theirs. They’ll always be theirs. He brushes the back of his fingertips along Odin’s cheek. “Do you know why our lives keep repeating, luv?” 

“I don’t,” Odin whispers. He leans into Niles’s touch, chasing the warmth of his fingertips. “But not every mystery in life is meant to be solved. So long as I’m with you, I won’t complain.” 

The nurse comes back and Niles lets his hand fall away from Odin’s face. She looks… startled, at best. “Um--I, er,” She clears her throat. “Your baby is ready for you, Niles!” She squeaks. “I’ll wait out in the hall!” 

She ducks out and Niles chuckles. “Well, sorry Odin. I love you, but Ophie is cuter.” 

“I wouldn’t ask you to stay,” Odin says. But just to be safe, Niles writes down his phone number on the notepad near the hospital room’s phone. Then he tucks it into Odin’s hand. 

“I lost track of you last time. I’m not doing that again. Get well soon.” 


	5. You Are My Sunshine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is some character death in this chapter. I mean not IN it but prior to it taking place. Just a heads up. :)

_ The other night dear, _

_ As I lay sleeping, _

_ I dreamed I held you in my arms.  _

_ When I awoke, dear, _

_ I was mistaken _

_ So I hung my head and I cried. _

The rain is coming down hard today. It’s loud against the pavement, the skies are a dreary, Nohrian grey, and there’s a white mist on the sidewalk drenching everyone’s shoes. He’s got his umbrella, he’s just passing through until he can get where he’s going, but Niles notices her not far in front of him. Ophelia. 

It’s Ophelia, because his entire world comes together when he sees her. She’s struggling to hail a cab. She’s juggling her umbrella, a diaper bag, and her baby. Celeste. Niles remembers her name. He’s met her before, in other lives. 

Amazing how with just one glance he can go from nothing at all to a grandfather, essentially. And how dare his life take this long to give him his family? He didn’t know he was missing them before, but he does now. He hates that Ophelia is a grown woman and he didn’t even get to see her grow up this time. 

But she’s struggling, so Niles approaches just so he can take the umbrella from her. “Can I help?” He asks. She lets go and nods her head. It only takes her a moment to get situated again with the bag properly on her shoulder and her daughter safely bundled against the other. 

She’s got red eyes. She’s been crying, her nose is puffy and swollen. “Are you alright?” He asks, softer. 

All at once she shakes her head. She squeaks in a tiny voice but she doesn’t even form the word. Her face scrunches up and she starts to cry all over again, but the noise she finally makes is a pathetic, sorrowful laugh. “I’m on my way to my father’s funeral,” She finally says, as an explanation. “My mom needed picked up because she’s not much for driving in the rain, and my husband went to get her but I had to wait because the florist--Oh, I’m sorry. I know you didn’t ask for all of this, it’s just…” She hiccups. 

Huh. Odin is dead. Niles wasn’t expecting that. It’s a hard grief to process. He never met him in this life, but it still hurts all the same. He presses his lips into a thin line but manages to hail her cab for her. She smiles and wipes at her eyes with her sleeve. “I’m sorry I dumped that on you,” She says again.

“It’s alright,” He says. “We all have our days, luv.” 

He pulls open the door for her. She pulls him into an awkward, one-armed hug. “Thank you for being a ray of sunshine today. My father loved people like that…” 

He wants to go. He wants to be there for her, but he never met Odin n this life. It would probably be weird to invite himself to his funeral. So when she’s seated in the car he just says, “Are you sure you’ll be okay on your own?” 

She nods her head. He lets her go. 

…

Niles has been through so many lives with Odin by his side, but the trend has always been that they find each other. Even when that takes a while, they get the happily ever after that they deserve. Odin was gone before he even had the chance, this time. 

Was he happy? He had a wife, and they had Ophelia. He probably had a happy life and didn’t even know. Does that thought make Niles feel better, or worse? He pulls his phone from his pocket and swipes across the screen until he finds Leo’s number. He starts to call him, but hangs up before the second ring. Leo said he was going to a funeral today. Celeste had looked the same as always, like a little miniature Elise. 

So she must still be Siegbert’s daughter. So Odin knew Leo, because his daughter married his nephew. They were family. How did Niles miss it? How did he miss Siegbert’s wedding, for that matter? 

…

It takes a few days before he can convince Leo to give him the time of day. Mostly because he’s a busy man, and Niles is too impatient to wait for the weekend. So he invites him to Leo’s office on his lunch break. He’s never been one for psychology. The little weird couch-bed makes him laugh, and the books on the walls seem more for decor. Surely Leo doesn’t have time to read when he has patients in his office. 

But he sets Leo’s food in front of him at his desk and Leo rolls his eyes. “Alright, alright. I don’t appreciate you saying you need  _ discount services.”  _

Niles grins and takes the seat on the opposite side of the desk. “Advice. I need discount  _ advice.”  _

“I’d much rather you just tell me what’s on your mind as a friend, Niles.” Leo unwraps his sandwich and takes a bite. After another moment of hesitation, he makes a face asking Niles to get on with it. 

“Well, you’ll call me insane.” 

“You know I won’t,” Leo scoffs. “Out with it.” 

“Alright. Ophelia is my daughter.” Niles watches Leo set his sandwich back down. He clears his throat. Niles hums. 

“Ophelia, my niece? I knew her father, Niles.” 

“Yeah. Odin. I knew him too, just not this time.” 

Leo presses his fingertips into his temples. “Niles, if you’re dancing around a point I wish you’d make it. I’m not a mind-reader.” 

So Niles takes in a long, deep breath, and he starts at the beginning. He starts with the war in Nohr, with Odin’s stupid dark mage outfit, with his time on the streets. He talks about his death, he talks about the estate, about Owain saving Nina in the street, about the kidney transplant for Ophelia, and now… This. 

“He always finds me, Leo. No matter where I go, no matter how many times we die, he’s always there with that face. And I never remember, I  _ never do _ until I meet Ophelia. Then it’s just… here.” 

Leo watches him skeptically. Niles sighs. “Well,” Leo clears his throat. “I don’t know that I would call you  _ crazy,  _ Niles, but I do think this is a little hard to swallow.” 

It’s always Ophelia. Is it really that simple, or does this make it more complex. Niles waves his hand. “Yeah, yeah, I get that, but let me tell you more because you’re the only one I can trust with this and I think I’m on to something.” 

Leo sighs and resumes eating. Niles drums his fingertips on the desk. “The first time we met it was before Ophelia was born. But the other two--we had our girls. He remembered, and both times he saved them. Do you think that means anything? And Nina is usually with me, and Odin is always with Ophelia…” 

“Remind me who Nina is again?” Leo asks.

“She’s my daughter.” 

Leo takes a slow breath. “I wasn’t aware you had a daughter.” 

“I don’t. I haven’t met Nina yet.” 

He watches Leo take a deep breath. He’s probably frustrated. At least that part is amusing. Niles chuckles low in his throat. “You don’t believe me.” 

“Niles, it isn’t that I don’t believe you, but Ophelia is Odin and Orochi’s daughter. Not yours. You do know that, don’t you? You haven’t even met the man.” 

Niles sets his head in his hand. “Yes, Leo. I know.” There’s a few seconds of silence, before Niles pushes himself up from the desk. “Well, I won’t take up your whole lunch hour.” 

“No, no, Niles, that’s not what I meant.” Leo argues. “Sit down.” 

“It’s alright,” Niles hums. “It’s just a matter of figuring out the rules, I guess. Thanks for letting me chatter at you. It helped.” 

“Niles…” 

…

It’s not that Leo upset him, it’s just that Niles knows he sounds stupid. And Leo’s whole job is to tell help people sort out when they’re being rational and when they’re thinking less clearly. The man sees people every day for the same reason. He’s not sure what he expected, dumping all of that on Leo. And honestly, Leo and Odin are always close--and Odin just  _ died.  _ Leo is probably still upset. 

That is, until he calls Niles up at eight in the morning. Niles isn’t even awake yet, but he fumbles for his phone and after a few failed attempts manages to answer it. “Mn, Leo?” 

“Let me in.” 

“Wh.” Niles pushes himself up to a sitting position. It really takes all the energy he has left in his body. He could fall over from exhaustion at any time, now. Or that’s how he tends to feel first thing in the mornings. Somehow he manages to drag himself down the hall and to the front door of his apartment. 

Leo steps inside without a word and sits down on the sofa. He has a journal in his hand, and he opens it up to a page scribbled with a few notes. “I have questions about your past,” Leo says. Niles rubs his eyes and drops down to join him on the sofa. 

“What?” 

“I think I’ve got most of this laid out,” Leo says. “You’ve been reincarnated over several lifetimes, but you only remember those lifetimes when you meet Ophelia, is that correct?” 

“Uh,” Niles leans over to look at the notes. Is this… all about him? “Yeah.” 

“Are you sure this even has to do with Odin at all, or is this about Ophelia?” Leo tucks his hair back behind his ear. “Niles, I’ve been at this half the night. Based on what you’ve told me, remembering Odin has nearly nothing to do with it. It’s always Ophelia. So tell me more about Odin. He never mentioned you before. Does he remember every time?” 

“Well, no.” 

“So only those two times when your daughters were in danger?” Leo asks. “Interesting… And the girls? Do they ever remember?” 

He’s taking notes. Niles doesn’t even know what to think of it. “Leo… what’s going on?” 

Leo huffs and closes his journal. “Niles.  _ If  _ there are consistencies like this, then the patterns may spell the answers. If your children remember, maybe Ophelia knows something.” 

“They don’t. Or Ophelia doesn’t. Nina always seems to know before I do, but she’s not here to ask.” 

“Alright. Nina always remembers,” Leo repeats. “You only remember when Ophelia is present. Odin only remembers when one of his children is in danger, and Ophelia never remembers?” 

“Well… yeah.” Niles shrugs. “I guess so.” 

“How did it start? Do you remember the beginning?” 

“I think the beginning was just… I promised Odin to be there for him, but I died.” 

Leo shakes his head. “No, something must be missing. It doesn’t make sense--if it was about Odin, why would Ophelia be the trigger?” 

Niles slumps over until he’s laying against Leo’s arm. “So does this mean you don’t think I’m crazy?” 

“No, I do,” Leo huffs. “But not because of this. You’ve always been a little crazy.” 

…

Later that same day there’s another knock at Niles’s door, but when he opens it to see Ophelia he’s more than a little shocked. She’s looking much better. Her soft, purple hair and her pretty eyes… she’s not soggy and crying. She’s got Celeste on her shoulder, still, but she has a paper bag from Bath and Body Works in her other hand. “Ophelia, why are… you here?” 

“I brought you some things. May I come in?” She asks. 

He steps aside, but he’s more than a little bit confused. He doesn’t even recall giving Ophelia his name, let alone his address. He doesn’t know why she’s here. But she sets the bag down on his coffee table and looks around the apartment a moment before she notices a package of Oreos next to the bag she set down. “Did I interrupt snack time?” She asks.

“More like lunch,” He says. “Do you want some?” 

“No, thank you, I’m fine.” 

“Are you sure? I’ve got peanut butter somewhere around here.” The offer fades away but her smile doesn’t. She hums nervously. 

“Do you want to hold Lessy?” She asks instead of answering him. He has no idea how that translated from Oreos to Celeste, but  _ yes,  _ he does. He only met Celeste once before, and he’s sure he was her favorite grandparent. She’s a sweet little girl, and she doesn’t complain when he takes her from her mother. And  _ wow _ she smells just like any other baby, but he can’t even remember the last time he held a baby, let alone his own family. 

Ophelia giggles. “Look, she must love you!” 

Niles loves her too, but he’s still confused. So he sits on the sofa with the baby and he asks her. “Ophie? Why are you here--how did you find me?” 

Ophelia settles down beside him and picks up her bag. Unsurprisingly, it isn’t full of lotion or soap. She pulls a photo album out of it, and she holds it in her lap. “My mother asked me to ring this to you.” 

Orochi? They two of them aren’t close. Niles only ever met her once, back before any of this reincarnation business began. Ophelia continues. “My mother is a psychic. She’s always known the future and the past.” 

That’s not surprising to Niles at all. 

“I also have some precognitive senses, but unfortunately they’re unrefined. I knew when I met you that you were important, but I didn’t know that you were my father.” 

Oh. Well, it’s a good thing he’s sitting down because Niles might have dropped the baby otherwise. “You remember me?” 

“Unfortunately not. But my mother does. She said to give this book to you. It’s a photo album.” Niles watches her open it across her lap, and he moves to flip the pages. There are photos of everything. Weddings, vacations, birthdays, Ophelia as a baby… it’s all very cute. And Odin is just as happy as he hoped he would be. “Mother told me to pass along a message as well. She said there will be more trials ahead of you. Many lifetimes of joy and tears. If your love is strong enough to endure them all, you will be given your second chance you lost.” 

“What does that mean?” Niles asks. 

“Oh I don’t pretend to understand her magicks,” Ophelia smiles. “And mother never explains fate, she only relays its whims.” 

“I see.” 

“I know it’s odd because I didn’t know you… but I think my father would want me to get to know you. So do you think we can be friends?” 

Niles lets out a shaky laugh. “Yes, luv. Yes, we can be friends.” 


	6. Count on Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all,
> 
> It's been like a year since I really uploaded fic I love and I'll have a post about it on my twitter @dorkpatroller for more info, but I wanted to warn you this fic won't be edited like... at all. I love you for reading, please ignore my typos. <3

_ If you’re tossin’ and you’re turnin’ and you just can’t fall asleep _

_ I’ll sing a song _

_ Beside you _

_ And if you ever forget how much you really mean to me _

_ Every day I will _

_ Remind you.  _

  
  


“So I met Niles first,” Owain says. Niles rolls his eyes and sets his head in his hand. Owain looks good in a tux--he always has. This time he has the jacket off, draped over a chair somewhere in the reception hall probably. The vest is still fancy enough, and the way he spins the champagne in his glass while he talks, the way he smiles brighter than the party lights, he’s really something. Ah, well. He’s Niles’s best friend. 

“Wait, let me start over. Before I talk about that… Do you know what an ego boost it is when both grooms ask you to be their best man?” Niles glances at Leo just in time to catch him roll his eyes too. “Not everyone can be such a mighty companion. But where was I? Oh, so I met Niles first. We were ten and he pushed me off a swing at the park and called me a nerd.” 

No one can say he’s bad at keeping a crowd’s attention. Owain loves to be center stage.

“So I broke my wrist and my dad had a meltdown and his mom made him apologize to me and I guess there was some peer pressure or bullying or some other fiendish activity involved. Those hazardous conditions are what forged a bond that has lasted ever since!” 

“I think his favoritism is showing,” Leo hums. He’s seated there beside Niles, and he reaches out and plays with his hand. With his ring. Niles chuckles at him. 

“Do you think I’m his favorite?” 

“I met Leo when Niles and I were sixteen. He panicked and pulled me behind the bleachers at school just because Leo  _ walked by.  _ He had the sort of high school crush that devasted him to his very core, to the aching corners of his heart! Needless to say he was made speechless by Leo’s beauty.”

“Owain!” Leo shouts. “Move along!” 

Owain laughs a little too close to his microphone. “Alright! So of course I did what any true best friend would do. I shouted Leo’s name as loud as I could and asked if he wanted to join our DND club. Oh--by the way guys, Niles played DND. Still does! He’s got a ranger that our DM can’t seem to kill. Or--maybe it’s because he’s dating the DM.” 

Owain grins wider, a smile that lights up the room all over again. “Or he  _ was _ dating the DM. So when I tell you that Niles and Leo have been together  _ forever  _ what I mean is they’ve been together for like a decade. They’re ancient. And they’re mine.

“So what’s it like being the best man for both grooms? Way easier than you might think. I could coordinate anything I wanted because the other best man was also me. Plus I knew what the other was getting as gifts and what they were planning… But it’s also a little complicated. It’s not like I’m losing my friends because nothing is changing. They’ve been LeoNiles for ten years. So I guess what I’ve been feeling is pride. It’s like what I felt when I got married, or when my girls were born. I’m so overwhelmingly proud of them. So quickly! Raise your glasses to the sky for me, everyone. Niles and Leo are finally married, finally beginning their forever, and I can drink to that.” 

“You know.” Niles nearly jumps out of his skin. He turns his head and Inigo is standing behind him, bent over to talk near his ear over the crowd. “I talked him down from a few embarrassing stories. You ought to be thanking me, boys.” 

“Thank you,” Leo mutters. “Desperately.” 

…

It’s 2:37 AM and Niles’s phone is buzzing relentlessly on the bedside table. He tried to ignore it at first, but a second glance tells him it’s Owain calling him, so he grumbles his way through a greeting. “Hmng. ‘lo.” 

“Hi.” 

“Mhmm?” 

“I know it’s your wedding night, and you’re probably sleeping off some consummation celebrations, but I’m outside your door. Can I come in?” 

“What,” Niles says. It’s less of a question and more of genuine concern. He hangs up on the phone, leaves it there on the table, and he pushes himself out of bed. Leo makes a noise but he goes right back to sleep. He slips down the hall and then makes his way to the front door, and sure enough, Owain is there. “What are you doing here?” 

  
  


Oh, but he looks so deflated. It’s nothing like the smiles on his face earlier this evening… and Niles hates to see that frown. “Alright, alright. Come sit down.” He leads Owain to the kitchen and he sits at the table with a huff. Niles brings two bottles of water from the fridge and joins him. 

Owain fiddles with the cap and finally huffs. “Ophelia has strep again.” 

Ah. Ophelia has had strep nearly twice a year since she was born it seems like. Niles doesn’t get it because she never had that problem in any of her past lives. 

Niles met Ophelia the day she and her twin sister were born. He was among the first to meet Owain’s new daughters. Imagine his surprise when he met her only to realize he’d already lived several lives with her. 

It’s a little weird not to be Ophelia’s father in this life… but he wouldn’t change it. He’s so deeply in love with Leo, and Owain is happy with Inigo. So he’s kept it to himself. Owain doesn’t seem to know, and so it’s… fine. It’s a little weird, but it’s fine. 

Regardless, Owain is obviously upset with Ophelia’s ailment. “She’s only three, you know, but the doctor told us that he’s highly recommending surgery to remove her tonsils. It makes me nervous though because  _ I  _ don’t react well to anesthesia, and what if she doesn’t either?”

Niles can remember a very specific lifetime in which Owain nearly didn’t wake up from being put under for surgery and he scared the shit out of Niles. All he had to assure him his husband wasn’t dead was a timer ticking down on his wrist. It’s a reasonable fear, but… “That’s not going to happen.” It wouldn’t, right? She had surgery several times in the lives he’s lived with her. Even as a child when she needed her kidney replaced. “Mm, so what does Inigo think?” 

“He’s totally for surgery and going on and on about how it’s a routine procedure and it will make her life so much better.” Owain sighs. He still hasn’t opened that water bottle. He’s just crunching the plastic obnoxiously. “Am I overreacting?” 

Niles laughs. “It isn’t overreacting to be worried about your daughter, but whatever the hell brought you  _ here _ at three in the morning was  _ definitely  _ an overreaction.” 

“Oh, no,” Owain shakes his head. “Inigo told me to stop bothering him about it and just sleep on it. So I walked over here.” 

“Is he asleep?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Does he know you left?” 

“Er, well, that is…” 

Niles rolls his eyes. He rises to his feet and he pulls on Owain’s arm until he’s standing too. “Get up, I’m taking you home.” 

“Wh--But Niles! What do I  _ do _ about Ophie?” 

Niles hums. As much as he still likes to think he has any influence over her, for once… it’s not really his place to make that choice for her. So he pushes Owain towards the door. “What are you asking me for? You two are perfectly capable. Don’t you want to do what’s best for her?” 

“Well, of course,” Owain zips the jacket he’s wearing and tucks his hands in the pockets. “Though seeking the opinion of one of my dearest rivals seems rational in times of turmoil.” 

“I’m of the opinion that you need to apologize to Inigo and go to bed.” 

“Owain?” Leo asks. Niles turns to see him leaning against the wall of the hallway. His robe is on, but sloppy, and he looks like he’s not even properly awake. He yawns while he asks, “What’s going on?” 

“I’m taking Owain home,” Niles answers. Leo doesn’t seem any less confused, but it’s cute the way he nods his head and goes back to bed. 

…

The drive back to Owain’s house is short, made shorter with the lack of traffic on the roads. When he parks the car there in the driveway, Owain breaks a short silence and says, “Thank you, Niles. I knew I was wrong, but I’m glad you let me talk it out.” 

“Any time, Nerd.” Niles chirps. “You’re not wrong for worrying. Now go to bed.” 

Owain is barely out of the car when the porch light comes on and Inigo opens the door. He meets Owain on the porch and Niles watches him first hug him like he thought he’d never see him again and then reel back and punch him in the arm. They’re fine. Owain laughs and holds both sides of Inigo’s face to trap him so he can rub their noses together like the sap that he is. 

This isn’t the sort of life Niles has shared with Owain before, but it’s still a very  _ good _ life. It reminds him of working side by side. He’s not sure how it fits into the puzzle. Leo helped him sort through the clues in a past life. Maybe if he works up the courage someday he’ll bring it up in this one, too. Maybe. 


	7. Lightning

_ I know that it’s a little bit frightening _

_ We might as well be playing with lightning, now _

_ Oh, oh. Oh, oh. _

_ Your skin, the touch, the kiss, too much. _

_ Your skin, the touch, _

_ The kiss, _

_ The rush.  _

  
  


The city is already halfway in ruins, but that was from a dragon attack earlier this month. Now there’s been a dragon sighted not far west from here, and people are struggling to squeeze through closed roadways and bridges while police and military officers usher them, herd them like sheep or cattle. 

“Don’t you think we should leave, too, Dad?” Nina asks. She doesn’t look afraid. She’s old enough to understand what’s going on. She’s old enough to know she’s not in danger yet. The danger isn’t here yet. “Or… are we going back to the bunker?” 

“We’re going back to the bunker,” Niles affirms. The world is going to end like this. No one knows why the dragons came back. No one knows why the magic came back. What he does know is that nothing good has come from either. The dragons are crushing the earth, and new ones seem to show up every day, ripped from fairytales or times of old or  _ something.  _

Magic came back with them. Niles would like to think that it was a gift or something from the forgotten gods to help fight back against the dragons. Maybe this is their judgment, and those who survive will reclaim the Earth. He doesn’t really care about reclaiming anything; he just wants Nina to live past twelve years old. 

The  _ problem  _ with the magic is that no one knows how to control it. All kinds of theorists are saying that people used to use spells and that humans still can, but they’re all so out of practice and have no proper catalysts that they can’t safely utilize the skill. If it were as easy as simply  _ not _ using the magic, that would be a reasonable hurdle. It isn’t. The people who have it can’t control it at  _ all _ and as a result they’re accidentally killing people. They’re setting cities on fire or electrocuting themselves or their children in the baths or just overstimulating their own hearts until they rupture. 

And so, of course, they’re being killed too. Bounty hunters are offing them left and right. No one cares about the morals of it, no one cares that they’re killing their family and friends, because the  _ world is ending _ and all they want is to get out on the limited shuttles there are. 

There are space stations. Several of them. They’re accepting emergency refugees, they’re bringing the people into space. Not magic users, of course. They’re too afraid of them. But everyone else is welcome to escape the dragons in space. The next shuttle that will leave will take off west from here, maybe a couple hours drive. The same direction that dragon appeared from… and so despite the first come first serve basis of the shuttles, everyone is evacuating the opposite direction. “When the coast is clear, we’re driving west. We’re getting on the next shuttle.” 

Or, at least, that’s his plan before a second dragon appears. Here, in town. The skies open up and a beast flies in. It isn’t the largest dragon that Niles has seen himself, but it rips through the crowd with a roar. Surely this can’t be the same dragon that was sighted west of here.

Screams and panic start in the streets below them. Niles and Nina are safe up high, perched on the roof of this old apartment building. The officers lose control of their flock and people begin to scramble away to hide. “We need to get to the bunker,” Niles decides. He starts to turn to usher Nina away, but he’s distracted by a little bolt of static. Nina yelps and shoves her binoculars into Niles’s hands. 

“It’s Ophie!” She shouts. She points her out, It used to hurt. It used to knock the wind out of him when he saw Ophelia, and when he realized who she was and by extension who  _ he _ was. The physical pain is just a dull headache now, but what hurts is the spike of panic knowing she’s down there, and she’s a  _ mage.  _

Of course she’s a mage. She’s been hiding in plain sight, no doubt about it. Odin is with her, and Niles already knows he was trying to smuggle her to safety. Gods, and she’s only a little girl, there’s no way she can control that magic. She’s an easy target. Niles is a bounty hunter, and even though he chooses not to kill humans… he knows the price that her corpse would pull in. She’s down in the streets surrounded by people who would be willing to kill her. 

He’s genuinely afraid… but then he’s genuinely not. In not even a full heartbeat Odin’s eyes shine yellow, and a tornado of wind surrounds himself and Ophelia. Niles can see through those binoculars, he can see his lips moving in a chant. A  _ spell.  _ He’s reciting a spell which can only mean he remembers his old magic, and remembers his past life. 

“Dad can’t fight off a dragon  _ and _ other hunters! We’ve got to help them! You remember now, right? Don’t you?” Nina grips his arm and Niles lowers the binoculars. Nina always remembers, doesn’t she? No trigger required. As a toddler she used to ask him where her other dad was. She’s a little older now, and she’s told him wild stories and promised that he would remember someday. 

She was right, and he owes her an apology, but not yet. She’s right: Odin can’t slay a dragon alone, not without a spirit pact. He almost lost Odin to one of those before, and without Leo’s knowledge of necromancy, he won’t be so lucky again. That isn’t an option. 

“Stay put,” Niles says. He pushes the binoculars into her hands. “Keep an eye out for hunters. Especially Beruka. Use a flair if you see her--and then run. Got it? Right to the bunker. Don’t wait for me. I’ll get Ophelia and meet you there.” 

“Wh--And  _ dad _ right? You can’t just leave him there!” 

“He’s a big boy, he can take care of himself, but your sister needs help first.” Niles leaves no room for argument. He doesn’t have time to argue, not when they’re in Beruka’s territory and she’s renown for her abilities. She’ll kill them both. 

Most people have evacuated as far away from the tornado as possible. By the time Niles is down there, forcing his way closer against the gusts, he’s counting his blessings that the only people here don’t seem interested in Odin  _ or _ the dragon. They just want to escape. 

He’s a little surprised when the wind funnel parts and then vanishes when Niles is only a handful of paces away. There in the center is Odin, staring at him with electric green eyes still alight with residual magic. His hair is windblown but he looks at Niles with a blend of at least ten emotions. Finally he settles on confidence. 

Odin scoops Ophelia up and runs the few steps so that he can plop her right into Niles’s arms. She’s not that little--maybe a year or two younger than her sister--but Niles keeps her close. Ophelia is less enthusiastic, and considering how she’s never remembered Niles before, he isn’t surprised. “Father?” She asks Odin. 

“Ophie, this is your Papa, trust him. Trust me.” 

Oh, has Odin mentioned Niles to her before? How long has he had his memories? Was it the day Ophelia’s magic came to her and she became a target? Was it before that? The dragon roars and more people scream, but what upsets Niles most is the flare gun that shoots across the sky. “Odin,” he says, “There are hunters here. Get to the bunker.” 

“W-What?” Odin stumbles. A figure jumps between a few buildings behind them. Niles worries that it might be Beruka. Odin turns and flicks his hand, and a zap of lightning magic crashes in her direction. 

“The ruins of the undercity. Take the old tunnel.” Will he know? If he can remember the past well enough to recite Thoron and Gale spells, this should be simple enough. And the moment Odin nods his head that’s it: Niles takes Ophelia with him and  _ leaves.  _ He can hear Odin summoning spells behind him, but he has to leave him alone. 

…

Ophelia is seated on Nina’s cot. She’s got a thermos of hot chocolate held like a mug in her hands, but she hasn’t been drinking much. Niles hasn’t let her out of his sight, and Nina is chattering at her, but she’s clearly nervous. Now and then Niles will hear a noise that he hopes is Odin finding his way, but he hasn’t arrived yet. Then he hears the sound of Ophelia setting the cup on the ground.

She hiccups and starts to cry, so Niles moves to sit on the cot with her, too. Despite having both of them to cuddle around her, she still cries harder. She must feel terribly alone right now… because she doesn’t know either of them. “What’s wrong, baby?” He asks her, despite knowing the answer before she talks. She cries a little louder, and he rubs his hand up her back, ruffling her shirt when he does. 

“Why isn’t Father here yet? It’s late… what if he died? It’s my fault.” 

“Hey, nothing is your fault.” Niles uses his sleeve to dab at her puffy eyes. Ophelia pushes his hand away. 

“It’s my fault that I can’t control the magic! He can do it--he keeps trying to teach me--I just… I can’t.” 

“He’ll be here,” Niles says. He wants to promise it, he wants to be confident… but Nina told him it was Beruka she saw, and Niles wasn’t at all surprised. All they can do is wait. 

Another hour passes before the tin cans that Niles has tied to the stairwell clank. Someone is certainly here, and Niles can only pray it’s Odin. “Stay here,” He says. Nina nods her head at him. Ophelia looks more inclined to bolt to the door. Niles picks up one of the lanterns and draws the knife he keeps holstered on his leg to head out into the catacombs. 

He sees light bouncing off the walls, but it’s too soft and too inconsistent to be a flashlight or fire. And, thankfully, it’s not. It’s Odin, with a light spell wrapped around his hand to guide him. Niles’s shoulders sag in relief. “Odin you scared the shit out of me,” He mutters. He starts to walk forward to hug him, but he hesitates. His shoulder is hanging a little too low. It’s dislocated, but otherwise, he looks alright. Maybe a little worse for the wear. “Let me,” he starts. He doesn’t finish. 

Nina and Ophelia come running past Niles. Part of him wants to scream in rage--what if this was someone dangerous? They were told to stay put. The other part doesn’t mind. Both girls press themselves into Odin’s arms, and even if he’s in pain Odin hugs them back. 

“Dad!” Nina gasps. “You were so cool!” 

Ah, a powerful complement to Odin Dark. He flashes her a smile, but he occupies himself with kissing Ophelia’s head when she starts to sniffle again. “Ah, Ophelia Dusk! My brave heroine. Thank you for staying here with Papa and Nina. Are you alright?” 

She nods her head. “I’m alright…” 

“Good,” Niles says. “Then let’s all get him cleaned up. Nina, will you make dinner?” 

Nina huffs. “Yeah, dad. I guess.” 

Odin chuckles at her. “Thank you, sweet nightingale.” And then, softer, he says, “Ophelia… will you help her with dinner?” She seems hesitant to leave his side. Niles doesn’t blame her. Even so, she nods her head and walks away with Nina. 

In a moment of silence they’re alone again. Odin sighs and leans forward until his forehead bumps against Niles’s shoulder and he sighs. “I love you, Niles. Thank you for--Ah!” 

It’s a yelp of pain that comes reasonably, because while Odin is busy having a few feelings, Niles can’t yet. He needs to get that arm fixed first. So with a good and, unfortunately, practiced shove… Odin’s arm moves back into place. When it’s done he swings his arms around Odin to steady him and keep him from running away from him. “Sorry, luv, it had to be done.” 

Odin snorts a tiny, pathetic noise against Niles’s shoulder. “Some people might have thought to warn me first.” 

“You know I’ve never been one to follow trends.” Niles smirks as he kisses the side of Odin’s head. Then he pushes him back gently. “You two are okay?”

“Ophie can’t control her magic at all,” Odin answers. “And I… I’ve been having visions, I think they’re from Naga. I keep having dreams that something is going to destroy the entire  _ planet.  _ And, look, my brand…” He holds out his arm to show Niles the birthmark. “I haven’t had this in almost any of the past lives…” 

“Then come west with us. We need to get to that shuttle before it goes out. If we’re lucky no one has to know about Ophelia’s magic, and we can teach her to control it later.” Niles slides his hands down Odin’s arms, catching on his sleeves for a moment but then finally curling their fingers together. “We’ve got to save these girls. Got it?” 

“They’re the only thing that matters,” Odin agrees softly. He leans closer and Niles tilts his head until their lips come together in a kiss still charged with lingering magic. And Niles has kissed Odin in a lot of lives and in a lot of ways, but his favorite kisses are still the ones where static electricity chases his tongue. It’s one of a million kisses they’ve shared, but this one still feels like the very first time… and for this life, it is.

…

There was another dragon sighted near the shuttle. As a result they’re pushing the launch time forward, and Niles is starting to worry they won’t make it. They’re close to the city, but it’s surrounded by barbed fences and walls haphazardly constructed to keep dragons out--as if a few thorns would stop a monster. Niles is just using cutters to snap the wires apart enough to get their jeep through when Odin  _ screams.  _

Niles barely catches sight of what scared him so badly before Odin has set the entire creature aflame and it collapses and dies with a hiss of a shriek. He’s never seen something quite like it before. It looks almost like a zombie, but Odin blindly reaches out and grips Niles’s arm. “Risen,” He clarifies.

Niles has heard the term before but it’s such a fuzzy memory… he can tell Odin’s memories of it aren’t nearly as fuzzy. “Get back in the car,” Niles says. “I’ve got one more wire and then we’re through.” 

It only takes him a few more minutes, and there are no other monster sightings… so Niles gets back into the driver’s seat of the battered jeep and looks back at the girls. Ophelia is asleep with her head dropped awkwardly against the window. Nina is awake but looks a little squirmy. Odin looks more nervous than he’s been in several hours… but when Nina asks “Are we there yet?” he barks out a reassuring laugh. 

He’s so cute like that, with his head tilted against the headrest and his dumb smile highlighting the freckles on his face. “Do you remember when we took them to the water park..?” He asks, softly.

It’s a totally different life. One without an apocalypse raging across the earth. One without zombies or Risen or dragons. Just a little family, living an ordinary life, and two little girls behaving like monsters in the back seat of the car. So he puts the car in gear and they continue their journey into the city, and he nods his head at Odin. “When Nina puked in the pool.” 

Odin laughs again, that dumb sunshine laugh that still makes Niles think of sunflowers growing on the estate grounds. The dumb laugh Niles fell in love with on the gloomy streets of Nohr. Suddenly Odin’s hand is laying over his on the gear shift, and he squeezes gently. “We’re going to make it out of this. We’ll make more memories like that.” 

…

  
  


It’s a large manakete. Niles is sure of it, this was a person whose body overtook them and they became a dragon. They weren’t planning to drive anywhere near it, but it spotted them and they were lucky to get themselves and the girls out of the jeep before it was turned into mush. The dock for the shuttle is so close… but he hears sirens and warnings over speakers that it will be taking off in twenty minutes, regardless of how many passengers are on it. They don’t have time to stop. They have to run. 

Run they do, with the dragon barely paying them any mind… but then it’s head snaps towards them again and a crest flashes across its eyes. Niles isn’t sure what it means, but he thinks it’s the same crest that Odin wears on his arm. Odin comes to a complete stop. Ophelia turns and tugs on his arm. 

“Father?” 

“Odin! Keep moving!” Niles scoffs. He pushes Nina ahead and jogs back a few steps. 

“That’s the one,” Odin whispers. “In the dreams. That’s the dragon that--but in the dreams I always…” 

“Spit it out!” 

_ “Take Ophelia.”  _ The words are frustrating. Odin stops speaking their common language and starts speaking old Nohrian. Niles’s brain has to keep up just to translate it.  _ “In the dream I always stand and fight. When I was a child I had a chance to sacrifice myself and I learned that it should always be the last resort. Now it is.”  _

Niles bends down and picks up Ophelia. She tenses up in his arms, but she doesn’t struggle.  _ “We can all make it.”  _

_ “That dragon is following me.”  _ It’s the brand. Is that it? How is Odin’s blood connected to all of this? The sirens warn them to evacuate again. Niles sucks in a deep breath. His eye grows damp but he blinks away the tears. Odin smiles sadly.  _ “If I get on that ship it won’t leave the dock.”  _

“I’ll kill you next life,” Niles whispers. “If the world doesn’t end, if there’s another one, I’ll beat the hell out of you for this.” 

Odin nods his head. “A right you will have earned, my stargazer! Now go.” 

And he does. This will be the second time in a matter of twenty-four hours that Niles has left Odin to take care of himself and ran off with their daughters. The difference is that this time they won’t see him later. He carries Ophelia and grips Nina’s wrist and runs. While they do, Odin turns back to the dragon. More magic than he can safely use--a spirit pact in the making--creates a wall of magic between the space shuttle’s dock and the dragon. 

And he still runs. 

“Dad! Stop! Dad! How is he going to catch up?!” Nina screams. They’re seen by some military personnel, and Nina is quickly swept up by one of them and carried into the ship. Ophelia is as well, and Niles can barely catch his breath. The door to the ship closes behind them. They’re the last to board. The jets kick on. Niles’s heart is splintering, but he knows this is the right thing to do. Odin made his choice. 

“He’ll be on the next flight,” Niles promises them because they won’t stop crying. Then, abruptly, the shuttle lurches in the air. Red lights begin flashing. 

The shuttle, along with the city beneath it, explodes.


	8. Jupiter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Porn in this one

_ Your eyes are the stars _

_ Your hand is mars _

_ Holding, holding me out to fly _

_ And I no longer have this great fear of heights _

_ Fear of heights.  _

  
  


_ “This station is boring. The Earth is boring--Leo why are you making me do this?” Niles asked. He was fumbling to pull his hair into a ponytail before they stepped into the airlock.  _

_ “Nothing about the Earth is boring, Niles. There is a lot of mystery left here.”  _

_ “The Earth blew up 400 years ago! There’s nothing of interest  _ left.  _ This is just a boring station with a bunch of boring floating rocks.”  _

_ “Niles, honestly, you sound like a child. Even if this is the most boring station on this side of the Ark, this is an incredible career opportunity for you. Being promoted to captain and commander is no small deal. Stay for a year. Make a name for yourself, then push to be relocated.”  _

…

“What…” Niles stares down at the  _ thing _ in front of him. Silas and his team just brought it in with some other space rubble. “Just… what.” He’s not even sure he’s properly asking his question. He’s just directing it at the entire room, not the specific people in it. 

“I have no earthly idea,” Flora answers, quietly. She’s got gloves on that roll up to her elbows, and a mask, and he’s sure it’s because they don’t know if this thing can kill them or not. “But it’s alive.” 

There’s an alien on the table in front of them. That’s obvious--and there are plenty of lifeforms in the universe beyond humans, some of them even on this space station, but this one is  _ actually alien.  _ Niles has never seen anything like it. Martians are fine, those guys with four arms from the other side of Neptune are really smart, but this is… new. 

“It’s in some kind of hibernation,” Flora goes on to say. 

“Then how do we wake it up?” Niles asks. It’s like… humanoid, pale green. It even has hair like a human might, but that’s where the similarities end. It’s got to be as tall as Niles, maybe taller. But it’s got a tail, thick and long and squished underneath its weight on the table. It has longer ears, pointed and almost translucent… and a horn in the center of its forehead. In the very least it looks like it’s sleeping peacefully. 

“We can’t,” Jakob answers him. He’s just on the other side of the table, wearing a mask and gloves as well, but he seems less amazed and more frustrated. “This is a magical sleep. We don’t have any sort of counterspell--the magic died with the humans when the Earth was destroyed.” 

“Huh.” Niles looks at the alien again. What a life-altering discovery. They’ve found an alien that--for some reason or another--is in a human-induced sleep… and it’s just stuck. The problem is that if it never wakes up it’s not the last of it’s kind, it’s just a science experiment for someone to put out of its misery and dissect. 

Niles reaches out his hand and trails his fingers along the curve of its wrist. Flora starts to click her tongue and turns to fetch him gloves, but before she even finishes the noise the alien’s hand closes around Niles’s wrist. Niles jolts and steps back. It only takes a sharp tug to break free. When he looks back the creature is staring at him, eyes wide and glowing with a sort of life Niles isn’t sure he’s ever seen before. Like it’s pure, electric energy. One eye blue, the other bright green. 

Humans are usually born with two different colored eyes. One belongs to them and the other belongs to their soulmate. It isn’t uncommon among humans, but Niles has never met any other species or races that experience the same thing. It’s slightly jarring to see the heterochromia on this alien. 

"تون مون کي خوش ٿيو!"

Well when it speaks its voice sounds excited or worked up, but Niles has no idea what it just said. It reaches back out for Niles, but he takes a step back and Jakob wastes no time in pressing a button on the side of the table that activates a few restraints so it can’t move. 

It looks so heartbroken then. It almost makes him want to step closer again. “I thought you just said we can’t wake it.” 

“How was I supposed to know you could break the spell?” Jakob asks. “I should be asking you how you did it.” 

“All I did was touch it,” Niles scoffs. He looks back down at the poor thing. His prosthetic eye scans over it, compares it to any similar-looking creatures out in the depths of their databases, but he finds nothing. “Put it in a cell for now. Don’t tell  _ anyone _ off base.” 

…

"تون موٽي آيو آهين."

Niles visits the alien that afternoon with a gift. When he first arrives it looks excited to see him, perks up from a slouch in its cell, but it clearly doesn’t know what Niles is holding in his hand. He holds it up and demonstrates--he puts one on his own wrist first. It’s like a bracelet, it clasps with a plug. He holds up the second one and the alien reaches out his wrist for Niles to put it on. Ah, well. At least it’s intelligent enough to understand that request. “Martians created these,” He says while he’s finalizing the clasp. He gives it a tug for good measure. “Can you understand me now?” 

This is the beginning of Niles never having a quiet moment for the rest of his life. It lights up--he lights up, based on the tone of his voice and outward appearance. If his anatomy is to be compared to humans, in the very least, he seems more masculine. 

“You can hear me now?” He asks. 

Niles sighs. He’s glad it worked, because if not he was out of ideas. He taps the translator on his wrist. “As long as yours and mine are programmed to each other, we can understand one another. Sound good?” 

“Sounds great!” And just like that he swings his arms around Niles and hugs his shoulders. “I’m so excited to meet you! You’re my soulmate!” 

Ah well, of course. Niles pushes back against his chest until there’s space between them again. “Pardon me?” 

“It was by your touch that my mother’s spell was broken. Only herself, my father, or you could wake me. Fate brought us together!” 

Well, the blue of his eye isn’t that far off from Niles’s… but that doesn’t mean anything. He doesn’t even know which of his own eyes were meant to be his rightful color. So he shakes his head. “You’re not even human. You and I wouldn’t be soulmates.” 

“Uh… I fear you’re mistaken… because I  _ am _ human.”

Niles barks out a laugh. “You look like a lizard or something!” 

“Naga! I look like Naga. She spared our people after the dragons returned to Earth. Show some respect!” 

“No,” Niles shakes his head. “No, no, no. The humans  _ evacuated  _ the Earth. The ones who didn’t make it died. I hate to throw a wrench in your backstory uh--whatever your name is.” 

“Odin Dark! And you haven’t ruined any backstory. You’re just wrong. Humans went underground after the last shuttles left Earth. We stayed there for over two hundred years!” 

Niles’s mouth falls open. He wants to argue this nonsense, but it’s  _ plausible.  _ The more he thinks about it, the more he instructs his cyborg eye to display records and historical possibilities, the more he wonders… could that be true? The Earth was still around for a couple hundred years before it blew to bits. This could be… rewriting history. If this weird thing is a human that just… adapted to a different environment… But how could they evolve so rapidly?

This is big. 

“You’re telling me that humans went underground and a literal goddess transformed them into a whole new race? That’s fascinating but it doesn’t change one thing: I couldn’t be your soulmate.” 

“You must be! That’s the spell that Mother weaved when she was trying to protect me from… Well, from whatever happened.” Odin looks back out the window. There aren’t any planets out here anymore. “Why shouldn’t you be?” 

“The Earth hasn’t existed for half a century,” Niles answers. “Your soulmate would have died years and years ago. Especially if your lifespan is still the same as a human’s.” 

“You’re my soulmate,” Odin argues softly. But he wraps his arms around his legs, pulls them close to his chest, and his tail flickers nervously around them before twisting around his ankles. “All that means is that my friends and my family are dead.” 

Huh. Niles clears his throat. “Sorry. I’ll… give you some space. I’m Niles, I’m the commander of this space station. Keep this on… I’ll try and get ahold of a few more of these bracelets so more of us can understand you.” 

Odin frowns up at him with almost a pout. Niles slips out the door. 

…

It seems a little cruel to Niles to keep Odin in a cell. He’s not a typical human, obviously, but he’s also harmless. Well, he’s probably harmless. He’s got that unicorn horn going on and his tail is liable to trip someone, but neither of those things seems like they’re meant to injure someone. The horn isn’t even but an inch or two long. He has fangs but even those aren’t too different than any ordinary human canines. 

What is does look is pouty. Every time Niles sees him on the monitor his ears are drooped and he seems sad to be locked up. So Niles decides to let him out. Maybe it’s some sort of soulmate nonsense that he trusts some random alien they just dug up. He’s just energetic and dumb and kind of cute in a charming way. It’s stupid. 

Odin doesn’t like the idea of wearing pants, but ever since Niles figured out what that cloaca situation is, he’s decided they need an extra layer on him. And, for what it’s worth, Odin doesn’t refuse pants when he realizes it means he can come out of the cell. 

…

Some of the crew has been trying to teach Odin common. It’s not going poorly, but Niles thinks it’s a struggle to learn a new language on top of being in a new environment and a little culture-shocked. No one else understands what he’s saying, so Odin reasonably stays close to Niles as often as he’s allowed. 

Or maybe he just feels more secure around him because they’re soulmates. Niles didn’t buy it at first, but he’s warming up to the idea. Technically, deep down, they’re both human. Fate doesn’t care about age or numbers or if Odin has been in a sleep for 400 years. That’s fate’s whole thing. 

So today Niles takes him to his favorite spot on the ship. “It’s not that special,” Niles repeats for the tenth time as he pushes the door open. It’s a glass room. The metal wall they’re passing through is the only wall not made of completely clear (thick, shatterproof) glass. The walls, the floor, the ceiling… it’s all like walking into a void of stars. 

Odin yelps and wraps himself around Niles after just one step and four seconds of being in the room. “ _ Why _ is this your favorite place?” Odin sputters.

Niles only cackles. “Are you afraid of heights? You can’t fall in here. It’s perfectly safe.” 

Odin looks suspicious regardless of the statement. Further in the room there are some cushions and pillows on the floor. There’s a potted plant that’s bolted to the ground. Niles lets Odin hang onto his arm while he leads him out towards the cushions to sit. “You didn’t answer,” Odin mutters while he takes his seat. “This room is scary and it makes me dizzy.” 

“I suppose it could be a little disorienting at first,” Niles hums. Walking in space, that is. He settles down too with a blanket and a couple of star-shaped pillows. “I like to get lost in here. I like the view.” He pulls his knees closer to himself and hums. “What do you think it’s like to swim in the stars?” 

“You’d suffocate,” Odin says matter-of-factly. Niles snorts. 

“Yes, well, indulge a daydream, won’t you?” He watches Odin spread another blanket out beneath himself… and it makes him smile. He just doesn’t want to see the stars beneath him, no doubt. He seems to get more comfortable after he’s situated, though, and he pays attention to Niles pointing out the stars. Constellations Odin knew on Earth look different up here, but they’re still there. It’s comforting to Niles to know that the stars never change, even when the world around them does. 

After a while Odin finds his way into Niles’s lap, laying his head there and listening to Niles answer the questions he asks. He’s cute there, all curled up with his tail flipping around like a cat now and then. His cheeks are lit up, Niles notices. Is it because he’s comfortable? He’s always had freckles, but they’re shimmering now like starts themselves, constellations glittering across his cheeks while he practically purrs. 

Then, to ruin the perfectly good silence, he turns his eyes up to Niles and says, “I think your eyes are more beautiful than the stars.” 

Niles coughs into his fist and shakes his head. “I liked you better before you could talk,” He mutters back. “I only have one eye.” 

“And it’s beautiful!” Odin protests. “And the heights aren’t so bad when I’m with you.” 

How stupid. Niles scoots and bends and cranes his neck so that he can kiss Odin… and it’s not squishy the way normal human lips are, but it gets the same reaction out of Odin. Good to know it means the same thing where he’s from too, because the electricity of kissing his soulmate is almost familiar to Niles, even if kissing Odin feels outrageous.

…

“Get out, Odin,” Niles grumbles. “Go to bed.” He’s been on this ship for nearly two months and Niles hates how quickly he’s learned to love him, but he has to draw the line somewhere. Their supply order of communicators came in and now it’s more than just Niles who can talk with Odin. Everyone is getting to know him, it seems. Not to mention he’s still practicing his Common.

“Can’t I sleep here?” Odin asks. “You just showed me that spooky movie…” 

“It was a documentary, not a movie,” Niles says. Odin pouts. Niles smirks. 

“It was scary!”

“Fine, fine. I don’t understand anyone who’s intimidated by you, you’re just a giant baby.” Niles mutters. He pulls his shirt over his head and starts to change for bed. Odin, he knows, won’t wear the clothes at night. Niles doesn’t care because it’s not like his junk is on display anyway. Plus he has every intention to make Odin sleep on the floor by himself. 

That was the plan, but it only takes a pout and a kiss to change Niles’s mind. And a kiss leads to another, and that leads to a few more, until Niles is panting into Odin’s mouth and faced with a sudden, new reality: Making out is all fun and games until your alien boyfriend’s dicks suddenly aren’t so hidden away. And honestly, it’s a lot to wrap his head around. It’s not like they’ve done a lot of digging about how Odin’s body works. He behaves similarly to humans for the most part, and they ask him questions, but none of them have quite worked up the initiative to ask him what his penis looks like. 

Had they, maybe Niles wouldn’t be struggling to figure out what to do with  _ two.  _ It’s not what he expected to happen today, tomorrow, or any time soon. It’s certainly not how he expected to spend his evening, but the more he thinks about it, the more he’s coming up with all kinds of ways to have fun. 

What else do you do with two self-lubricating alien dicks? 

“This… is definitely not human,” Niles teases. He hums afterwards. He wonders if his voice sounds the same to Odin, if all of his teasing and cooing comes across through the translator. That silly little bracelet that helps them understand each other. Odin’s curiosity shines bright. But while Niles trails his fingertips along the length of one of those cocks, Odin doesn’t look curious. He looks flustered and needy and his cheeks are turning darker. The stars on his cheeks shimmer brighter. 

“I am human,” Odin protests quietly. He pushes his way overtop Niles and it’s hard to think that way. His tail is flipping back and forth eagerly and his eyes, slitted like some kind of lizard, peer down. He doesn’t look human. Niles reaches up and plays with the length of his ear. Odin makes a purring noise. It’s cute. 

Then Niles reaches between them and squeezes Odin instead of just touching, and that purr turns into a moan. That, as it turns out, doesn’t need to be translated. 

Really it was slick before Niles touched it, but it just baffles him how slick it really is. It’s highly  _ convenient.  _ Maybe humans that were hiding underground didn’t have time for the conveniences in life like sexual lubricants. Although it makes him wonder what sexual practices led males to producing it instead of females… 

It doesn’t matter. “Why do you need two?” Niles asks while he squirms out of his underwear. He pushes them off, huffing in frustration when Odin chooses not to help but just to kiss along his shoulder. Cute, but not helpful. 

“What’s wrong with two?” He echoes instead of answering. He ruts down against Niles, grinding the two of them together, and it’s a hot, wet feeling that has Niles wondering what’s wrong with two, too.

The benefits are boundless. The first is that Niles needs only to stroke Odin once or twice before he can use that same hand to work himself open. Odin is a little pouty about the lack of attention, but he makes up for it by playing with Niles’s body instead. 

“I think you look weirder than me,” He mutters in that pouty voice. Niles barks out a laugh. Sure. If he were from a race of people with two dicks and a pocket to hide them in, he’d probably think a person with one dick and a ballsack was weird too. 

“We can agree to disagree,” He huffs. This is easy. Working himself, the way his toes curl into the sheets while he fingers himself just right, the way he’s starting to feel a little too warm underneath Odin… It’s overly exciting. It’s one thing to sleep with your soulmate. It’s another when he’s an alien. It almost feels like he shouldn’t be allowed.

Maybe he should take it slower with Odin than he has, but he thinks they’re both perfectly allowed. 

“Don’t know how it works for you but I think I’ll start with just  _ one,”  _ Niles says. Odin puffs out a laugh, a little, playful chuckle… and it’s one of the sweetest sounds Niles has ever heard. So familiar, but he’s really only known him this little while. Niles pushes his hand against his face to make him stop, before his heart gets too full of butterflies to enjoy this. 

Ah, but not really. He’d enjoy it either way. The way he pulls his hand away from himself leaves him wanting. It would be nice just to get himself off, but the heat of Odin over him drives him to want more than that tonight. He hasn’t had a partner in longer than he wants to admit; the desire to please someone else rather than himself is overwhelming. 

Odin sits back on his knees, obviously not needing any instruction on what comes next. Niles hesitates a moment to draw his thumb over the end of Odin’s cock. Funny. Two slits. What a mess that must make. And the precum that dribbles out shimmers like starlight just like his freckles, just like every other bit of him. Hell, who knew that even jizz could be made of glitter.

It’s not a full moment later that Odin whines and bucks his hips, so Niles repositions himself as well, until he’s straddling his lap and guiding one of those lengths inside of himself. It’s not overly long or girthy, just the same as any other partner he’s had. It’s just wild to him that all the while he’s got the other one rubbing past his perineum, settled hot and leaking against his balls and cock too. He’s so fascinated by it he can’t help the instinct to reach down and curl his fingers around it. Odin hisses like it hurts, but Niles knows it’s not pain. It’s overwhelming him.

Well, it’s overwhelming Niles too. So much that he thinks he could cum any second and they haven’t even  _ started.  _ So, he decides, it’s best to start. He rocks back slowly on the slick cock buried within him, and when he rocks back forward he thrusts himself into the hand he has wrapped around them both. 

It’s altogether just like Niles to try and be in control of the situation when he’s wildly out of his comfort zone, but it’s nice the way that Odin’s hands support his hips and keep him stable. There’s like some deep-rooted instinct in Odin that doesn’t ask him to be less controlling, doesn’t ask him to be more clingy, and doesn’t poke fun at him when he’s needy. Is that the power of soulmates? Is the way their bodies work together--the way some  _ interesting  _ new kinks are awakening within Niles--the power of being made for one another?

“N-Niles!” Odin sputters beneath him. Niles can tell based on the amount of sticky, shimmery precum alone that he’s about to tip over the edge. Niles will be happy to get him there, too, but he wants to get himself first. He’s feeling just a little selfish tonight. So he shifts his legs just slightly to put the pressure of Odin’s cock just right, and then he grinds down hard. He doesn’t bother with big thrusting motions, just little rocks back onto his cock that has his voice cracking and his breath coming out in stuttered panting. 

Odin still cums first, but Niles is only a few seconds behind him. Niles gasps and then yelps, not because of the incredible orgasm but more accurately because Odin pushes him over. The feeling of suddenly being  _ empty _ that fast is highly unexpected, but the way Odin cuddles over him makes it forgivable, in the least. 

“I love you!” Odin says. Niles lets out a pathetic laugh. He doesn’t know if it’s disbelief, agreement, or maybe just joy. Yes, he knows. He’s known from the moment he saw Odin he would be changing his life forever. It just took this long for him to really let it sink in. Literally. 

Niles will never have proof of Odin being his soulmate. He was born missing his eye, and maybe that’s for the best. If it was a shimmery, green, lizard eye… it may not have been in his favor to look like that. But he doesn’t need proof. He can feel it. Something about this has happened before. It’s all fate. 

“When I’m with you… I don’t feel like I’ve lost my family at all,” Odin mumbles into Niles’s hair.

Niles doesn’t feel alone anymore either.


	9. Where or When

_ It seems we’ve stood and talked like this before _

_ We looked at each other in the same way then _

_ But I can’t remember where or when. _

_ The clothes you are wearing are the clothes you wore _

_ The smile you are smiling you were smiling then _

_ But I can’t remember where or when. _

_ Some things that happened for the first time _

_ Seem to be happening again… _

_ And so it seems that we have met before _

_ And laughed before, and loved before _

_ But who knows where or when. _

The clicking of their boots, while they walk down the hall, is loud, but not loud enough to drown out Leo’s complaints. He’s not happy. Niles isn’t thrilled either. This feels like a scheme, this feels like one of King Garon’s underlying plans to  _ hurt _ Leo. “I don’t need a second retainer,” he says for the tenth time that hour. Niles couldn’t agree more. It’s insulting. He’s been nothing if not above and beyond for Leo. 

They’re both a little overly determined to hate this man. Leo already met him formally, but this will be the first time Niles does. They’re heading towards the garden, where Leo promised to introduce them. He stops and takes a breath when he reaches the door. Leo settles his hand on the knob. 

“We will get through this,” He says. Niles nods his head. He’s ready. He’s ready to hate this man. He’s ready to spit on his shoes if Leo gives the word. It’s just that when they push the doors open and their eyes meet, something else happens entirely. 

_ Don’t. Don’t go back. I want you to stay. _

_ Tomorrow at noon I might find myself in the stables. Don’t you work there? _

_ You’re back here with me now. That’s all that matters. _

_ But not every mystery in life is meant to be solved. So long as I’m with you, I won’t complain. _

_ If your love is strong enough to endure them all, you will be given your second chance you lost. _

_ Though seeking the opinion of one of my dearest rivals seems rational in times of turmoil. _

_ If the world doesn’t end, if there’s another one, I’ll beat the hell out of you for this. _

_ You’re my soulmate! _

Niles’s head swirls. He feels nauseous, his head throbs, and hot tears are dribbling down the side of his face. Odin runs forward and Niles can’t bring himself to move, but he doesn’t push him away. He lets Odin throw his arms around him and hold him, and he lets him cry against his shoulder. 

  
  
  


It’s the most comfortable Niles has ever been in his life, for a few seconds. Those seconds end, though, and Leo clears his throat. Odin and Niles awkwardly step away from each other, but Niles still has a gentle grip on Odin’s bicep while Odin scrubs at his pink nose and damp eyes. 

“I suppose you’ve met, then..?” Leo asks. 

Um. Niles glances at Odin. Odin blushes and takes an entire step back. “I don’t know what twist of fate came over me! Er, but no. We haven’t met. But we will now. I am Odin Dark! I have crossed paths with wars and dragons and proven myself as a hero worthy of serving Prince Leo.” 

Niles snorts out a laugh, but he tries to hide it behind his hand. He has no idea who Odin is… and he doesn’t know what just happened. Something did. It was like a bolt of lightning between them, a spark of something otherworldly… but he already knows it will be impossible to hate Odin. 

“My name is Niles.”

  
  
  



End file.
